Diagnosis

Last Wednesday I was diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, a condition that manifests itself in various ways, including through the sufferer engaging in repetitious acts or routines, as well as in -- some cases -- the person suffering from intrusive thoughts that they can not get out of their head. From what I have been reading -- and I am still in the very early days of understanding this -- people with OCD often compare what is going on in their mind to being similar to a record that hits a scratch and keeps repeating itself... over... and over... and over. The difference being is that the routines or the intrusive thoughts cause a great deal of anxiety to the individual suffering.

I was not sure if I should post this but I decided that I should post something about this because I do not want to wallow in shame about this condition. I don't think anybody, including myself, is served by hiding the fact that I suffer from this illness. And yes, it is an illness.

However, my desire to share this with all of you is based on the following 4 reasons:

1. Ephesians 5:13-14 calls on us to bring things out in the open so that the light of Christ might shine brightly on them: "But everything exposed by the light becomes visible, or it is light that makes everything visible. This is why it is said:"Wake up, O sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you." I could, because I do feel ashamed, hide that this is happening. But I choose to share this with all of you so that you know what is going on -- and so that you can stand with me in prayer. I would rather that the Light of Christ is focused brightly on this part of my life so that people know what is going on, how they can pray and support me and my family, and because we are commanded to bring it to the open by God. Hiding things is not only disobedient, but adds to the discomfort and fear I feel going through this. I am not alone. God is on my side, my family and friends are on my side, and a great body of believers is standing with me as well.
   
   
2. By sharing this suffering, I am not only being comforted but setting myself up to be able to assist others who may be going through something similar. 2 Corinthians 1:3-7: "Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows. If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort". I would rather use this situation to glorify God and His plan, as opposed to wallowing in self-pity about my lot in life. I was wallowing pretty deep this morning, feeling sorry for myself, going through an episode, asking "why me" and "where is God". But God is there and uses everything we go through -- every joy, every trial -- "... for the good of those who love the Lord". If you are suffering through this, then let's stand together. In fact, if you are suffering through anything, let's stand together in unity and understanding, knowing that God brings peace, healing and comfort to ALL who ask for it. But sometimes we need to reach out to grab hold of it.
   
   
3. It gives me a better understanding of "The Shield of Faith" -- which I will blog about later this week as part of our ongoing series on the Armor of God. What better shield to stand behind during my moments of weakness but the shield that is God -- the one that will protect me, will comfort me and will guard me against any arrows that come my way. It doesn't mean that some arrows will not be a bit bigger than others, but it does mean that when I am behind the shield, they won't hurt nearly as much as if I had no protection at all.
   
   
4. Because, ultimately, sharing what I am going through helps me not to be afraid... and writing this blog, digging into the Word helps me to ground myself in the realization that I do not stand alone. For example, had I not felt the need to blog today, I would never have found this wonderful verse from Isaiah 41:13: "For I am the LORD, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you". Fear can, and does, cripple you. If you let it. And sometimes, it seems easier to let it cripple you then to face it head on. But if a gangly kid named David can face a hulking mammoth named Goliath and swallow his fear by relying on the Great I Am, then surely I can do the same. I may not have a slingshot the way David did, but we both have the same rock: God.
   

Whether the illness or adversity you are facing is depression, cancer, diabetes, heart disease, lung ailments or even just a simple bad mood, remember you never walk alone... and what you are going through will not be anything more than you can bear, nor will God ever leave you.

This week, my friends, I ask you to remember myself and my family in prayer -- and to continue to pray that God will pour His strength, His blessings and His comfort on us. I also ask you to join me in praying for those around us who suffer -- publicly or in silence -- and who desperately need the comfort of God.

I've quoted this verse before, but I will quote it again: 2 Timothy 1:7: "For God did not give us a spirit of fear, but one of power, love and a sound mind".

We do have a choice to face our battles with fear -- an emotion not of God... or we can face it not only with our Armor, but with the power, the love and the soundness of mind that comes with it.

God walks with us -- maybe we should hold His hand a bit tighter to remind ourselves.

A Timeless Lesson

Today an individual who I once considered a friend posted something on her blog about both my wife and I -- it was very hurtful, nasty and meanspirited.

My first instinct was to pound out a letter being equally as hurtful -- but I stopped myself before pressing send... even though every element of my being wanted to deliver some hurt through email.

My wife laughed it off and encouraged me to pray for this person. I fumed.

And while I fumed, washing my cup in the office kitchen, I was reminded of this:

They spat at Him. They beat Him. They crucified Him.

And He loved them still:

Luke 23:34: "Jesus said, "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing"

It's a hard example to follow -- but one that I will.

I guess it's no longer a mystery to me why, last night, after I had prayed I felt the need to read 1 Thessalonians 5:15: "Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always try to be kind to each other and to everyone else".

It's a verse I had read years ago and nodded to every so often... but last night I felt the need to turn to it... little did I know why... until a couple hours ago... until I nearly pressed send.

So I turn the other cheek -- not because it is easy, but because it is right.

Because His example is worth following more than my own pride.

He set the standard for us all.

Wearing our shoes of peace

Ephesians 6:15 "... and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace"

It's almost been a month since my last entry on this series and as I thought over the course of the last week about coming back to write something, I always found myself getting distracted, finding something else to do or, as we can all attest to at some points in our lives, putting it off and resolving to "get to it tomorrow".

Aha.

Today as I was giving thought to what it was that I would write about feet fitted in readiness, a question kept coming to my mind in light of my absence from blogging:

Where are your feet taking you? 

Are your feet taking you towards God in times of challenges and opportunities, or are they taking you through the meaningless drift of everyday life... washing the car, a busy work schedule and social life, money issues, going to the gym... in other words, are your feet running you into the ground so to speak with the worries of the world versus the promise of the Kingdom?

The reality is that too often we face life's most challenging battles with feet suited up with the world's sneakers as opposed to God's own Nikes.  The world's sneakers don't fit half as well, they provide no real stability and, frankly, after you wear them a few times your feet get sore and it drags you down.

By contrast, God's Nikes -- built by the Gospel of Peace -- ground the wearer in wisdom, in confidence, in strength and in comfort.  Everyone wants that in a shoe... especially when they are facing a battle.  Paul himself talked about the need to press on (Philippians 3:14) in the face of every difficulty because the prize (eternal life with our loving Father) is so worth it.  But, he says, you ultimately need to stand (Philippians 4:1).  With His peace.

I love the imagery of kicking off those old worldly sneakers in that ante-room off the Throne Room of Heaven... Angel Gabriel jumps out of the way as your old sneakers get booted across the gleaming marble, and you push your feet into a new pair -- a lasting, eternal pair -- of knowledge, of abiding love, of salvation.  

Can't you see yourself -- you have to face another day of monotony or hardship... your feet, your very soul (no pun intended) are weary, you don't think you can face or literally stand, another minute... and then God pulls out a pair of shoes... HIS PEACE... that give you a new lease on life, on energy and on strength.  It's what good shoes do. It's what God DOES. All. The. Time.

But there's more... with the privilege of wearing those shoes, that critical piece of the Armor of God, comes the realization that with the "readiness" (read: stability, strength, certitude) of the gospel of peace comes the need to not only stand your ground but to ensure you are moving His will forward with every step you take.  Because, yes, shoes help you stand strong and to be grounded... but shoes help you to move too... and that's what God wants -- commands -- you do ... to move His Word among the family you love, the friends you hang out with, the colleagues you share 8+ hours a day, 5 days a week with... He wants you to use His shoes of the gospel of peace not only to ground yourself but to spread yourself so as to ensure that the knowledge and hope you have from knowing Him is shared with as wide a circle as possible.

And what exactly are these shoes -- or rather, how does one define a term like "the gospel of peace"? Simple: Jesus.

Ephesians 2:14-18: "For he himself is our peace, who has made the two one and has destroyed the barrier, the dividing wall of hostility, by abolishing in his flesh the law with its commandments and regulations. His purpose was to create in himself one new man out of the two, thus making peace, and in this one body to reconcile both of them to God through the cross, by which he put to death their hostility. He came and preached peace to you who were far away and peace to those who were near. For through him we both have access to the Father by one Spirit".

We have confidence in the gospel of peace because we have accepted Christ as our Savior... it means every battle has been won, including the ultimate one which is the one where Christ defeated death, sin and destruction so that we might enjoy the eternal gift of life with Him.  As you wear these shoes, don't you feel the need to spread the peace that you know? People are hurting all around you .  We must exercise our responsibility to share that peace God has given us -- it's one of the requirements of our salvation primarily, but also something we recommit ourselves to whenever we dress in God's Armour.  

Each day is a battle, my friends... one side seeks nothing less than the destruction of man (John 10:10), while the other seeks more and more children to bring home to eternity with Him (Luke 19:10)... if we're wearing the Armour the way we should be, we need to point our shoes in the direction of sharing the truth and move that way for God.

Which gets me back to the beginning... 4 weeks without blogging... without sharing what God places on my heart is not what I am called to do.  Wearing those shoes of the gospel of peace have grounded me, and ground me daily, but I have a higher responsibility beyond just focusing on what it has done for ME... I have to use that peace that grounds me and share it around me, through all the talents and means God has blessed me with.

At the end of the day, when you're wearing the shoes of God, you are never too busy to go in the direction He points us.  When He wants us to stand, we stand.  But we always have to be looking for the next path on which we can walk with our special special shoes.