The Power of a Slingshot

Last night I was reading Max Lucado's book "Cast of Characters" -- a book where he takes people in the Bible and uses their story to illustrate the way ordinary men and women can be used by God to His purposes.

I was struck - as I often am - by the story of David versus Goliath.

For those of you who know me, you will know how much of an affinity for David I feel.  I see in David elements of myself: leadership, strength, virtue, a heart for God but at the same time a tendency to rely on ourselves, failing to trust God, and going about things in a way contrary to God's will for my life.  David is me, I think, only 3,000 years ago.

What struck me yesterday though was the way in which David went about defeating Goliath.  Let's review the story briefly: The Israelites are on one hill, Goliath and the Philistines are on the other.  A valley separates the two warring factions.  What fills the valley, however, are the taunts of a 9 foot 4 inch neanderthal named Goliath, cursing the Israelites and taunting them with promises of certain death if any of their soldiers dare face him.

David, a young boy of about 16, comes to the front lines of the battle to deliver food and supplies to his older brothers who are part of Saul's army.  While he is there the taunts of Goliath start to grate on him so much that he asks the Israelites: "What will be done for the man who kills this Philistine and removes this disgrace from Israel? Who is this uncircumcised Philistine that he should defy the armies of the living God?" (1 Samuel 17:26).

How awesome is that that a boy of 16 asks an entire army -- basically -- what on earth are you people doing, allowing this chump to call you out?  In a brief moment we see how much David's sensibilities and faith are offended by a brute from Gath.

As the story progresses, David manages to convince King Saul that HE will deal with Goliath -- since there are no other takers.  At first Saul begs off, saying David is too young, but David insists saying: "Your servant has been keeping his father's sheep. When a lion or a bear came and carried off a sheep from the flock, 35 I went after it, struck it and rescued the sheep from its mouth. When it turned on me, I seized it by its hair, struck it and killed it. 36 Your servant has killed both the lion and the bear; this uncircumcised Philistine will be like one of them, because he has defied the armies of the living God". (1 Samuel 17:34-36)

There is something profound about that line -- David is not saying to Saul that he will defeat Goliath because the giant has offended David alone (he has) but because Goliath had offended God.  David is stepping up, stepping forward to deal with the menace with the POWER of God behind him.

While Saul tries to arm David with his own armour, David declines saying it would prove too distracting -- and sets out with five rocks from a nearby creek, a stick, and the power of God behind him.

Goliath sees David and laughs -- a skinny teenager up against one of history's biggest menaces?

But - and this is what really inspired me - David lets loose a battle cry that should serve as an example to all of us who face giants in our own lives:

(1 Samuel 17:45-47) "You come against me with sword and spear and javelin, but I come against you in the name of the LORD Almighty, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied. This day the LORD will hand you over to me, and I'll strike you down and cut off your head. Today I will give the carcasses of the Philistine army to the birds of the air and the beasts of the earth, and the whole world will know that there is a God in Israel.  All those gathered here will know that it is not by sword or spear that the LORD saves; for the battle is the LORD's, and he will give all of you into our hands."

We all know how the battle ends - a rock from David's slingshot hits Goliath in the forehead, killing him.  David cuts off his head -- the victory is the Lord's and the Israelites emerge victorious BECAUSE of God -- and because a boy named David demonstrated the faith that could move mountains.

Right now I am battling a giant -- actually, I am battling quite a few:

- Depression

- Fear

- Thoughts that are not of God but are being dumped in their by the enemy

- Sins and regrets of the past

One great big four-headed giant that is confident I will lose and who tries his level best to scare the crap out of me on a daily basis.

But if I learned anything from the David versus Goliath story it is that ANY giant in our lives can be defeated by the grace and power of God.  So what if we just have a slingshot and a bit of a faith -- look around you and see all that God provides you with to fight the battle we are in:

- Armies of the Living God -- angels... HIS angels, surrounding you and protecting you: "For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways; they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone" (Psalm 91:11-12).  Just because you can't see the angels doesn't mean that they aren't there -- I know they are with me and my wife right now.  I've said I think we have more angels guarding us during this time than the US President has Secret Service.  Take comfort in that.  These angels are not just run of the mill warriors - they are battle-hardened and experienced in fighting against spiritual giants.  God has commissioned them over you and me -- and they are some of the best soldiers to have on your side.  Think of them as the most elite and strongest military force on earth and then multiply it by a million -- that is how tough these guys are... because they have been trained and empowered by God.

- Saints -- lots of them -- cheering you on: "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us" (Hebrews 12:1).  This isn't a joke -- this is biblically true.  Jesus, Noah, David, Job, the disciples, Solomon, Esther, Mary... these are just a few of the folks around the throne of God, watching you battle on God's personal pay-per-view.  They are cheering you on... big time... they know how tough the battle is, but they also know what God knows... that the home team always plays better when the crowd is behind them all the way.  So when you think nobody is there cheering you on... look up... you may be able to hear the Throne Room of God cheering you towards the finish line -- lead by God himself.

- The Body of Christ -- this is your earthly army... and it is tough.  For every prayer warrior that says a prayer for you, God gives you just a bit more strength.  EVERY prayer reaches his ears.  Look at the example of the death of Lazarus... John 11:3 tells us that Mary and Martha "...sent word to Jesus that... someone you (he) loved is sick".  Their prayers reached Christ's ears.  So to do the prayers of your earthly army - empowered by an all loving and knowing God - reach the very ears of the one who saves.

- The Word of God -- Your slingshot, your sword... whatever you choose to call it, hide it in your heart and use it to pummel rocks at your giant.  It WILL defeat ANYTHING.  There is power in the Word, my friends... which is why in Ephesians Paul calls the Word "The Sword of the Spirit".  Hold fast to it -- no giant can defeat you if you are holding tight to it.

- The Armour of God - One of the things I love most about David is that he doesn't cloak himself in man-made armour.  He cloaks himself in the courage and faith that comes from knowing God.  Pray it over yourself.  Daily.  Ephesians 6:10-18.  There is nothing stronger than the armour of the living God.  Put it on, know you are being guarded, and fling that rock at your giant.

David's battle cry is also amazing -- go read it again and see in there the confidence with which he proclaims victory BEFORE Goliath is even defeated.  That is how David was able to win.  Not because he was confident in his own abilities, but rather because he was confident in the abilities of the One who had ALREADY won the victory.  Would that we were even an ounce as faithful.

I know giants are scary -- they puff themselves up, the toss you about and they threaten to crush you.  The reality is that there is an even bigger giant and His Name is Abba, Jehovah Jireh, God, I Am, Yahweh... and no matter how big your own personal giant may be, HE can and WILL defeat it.

So let loose your battle cry, fling that sling shot and be confident that "...

the LORD will hand you over to me, and I'll strike you down..." (1 Samuel 17:45).

Battles are tough, giants are scary -- but there isn't anything as scary as an angry Lion of Judah and His Armies on the prowl for those who would deign to hurt his children.

Be a David today.  There is power in God's slingshot.

Ten Things I Am Learning

In the midst of a spiritual battle it is very difficult to see the forest for the trees. It is hard when you are stumbling around in the dark to see the very bright hand of God holding fast to you guiding you along a path towards strength, renewal and purpose. But it is real and it is lasting – even if we are tired and weary from the fight.

I wanted to share with you some of the things I am learning during this incredible time of struggle. Grab yourself a coffee, this is a lengthy post:

1) The enemy is not to be taken lightly: Society has done a great job of dulling the effect and seriousness of the enemy. TV shows and movies show the enemy to be little more than a grouchy man, with horns on his head, and a perpetual chip on his shoulder, urging people to just do what they feel like doing. The reality though is far different as 1 Peter 5:8 tells us: “Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour”. This is not an enemy of comic books but a living, breathing dragon that wants nothing more than to seek, kill and destroy. Don’t fall into the trap of thinking you can beat him with your flesh – you can’t. Only the power of Christ can do that and we know that from the Word of God: “So give yourselves completely to God. Stand against the devil, and the devil will run from you. Come near to God, and God will come near to you. You sinners, clean sin out of your lives. You who are trying to follow God and the world at the same time, make your thinking pure” (James 4:7-8). Pay attention to that passage: it doesn’t say, give yourselves completely to your own strength. It says GIVE YOURSELVES COMPLETELY TO GOD because that is the ONLY way you will emerge victorious. It doesn’t mean the battle won’t be tough, but it sure does mean that when the enemy goes to jump on you, the Lion of Judah has your back and will gladly rip him to shreds. Don’t fear the enemy, fear God. Know that your power is IN GOD and that you need to lean on Him to defeat this vicious poison. But don’t underestimate the enemy either – he is wily, he is evil and he seeks to destroy. Lean on God. Hard. And remember, you have ALREADY won the victory in Christ – just visualize it and hold tight to His armour.

2) The Body of Christ is a true support: I had never really appreciated how vital the Body of Christ was and is to us as Christians. Frankly, owing to many hurts from my past and my holding onto bitterness and pain, I used to lump the Body of Christ under the subject heading of “Hypocrites”. What a mistake I made. I was part of the problem, judging others as I had been judged, allowing my idea of the Body of Christ to be held to a standard of my own making. But God is right and true when He says in Matthew 7:5: “You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye”. I had – and still have – a big ol’ plank in my eye, so I am certainly in no place to be judging others. Let me tell you what I have learned: we are ALL flawed. All of us fall short of the glory of God, just like it says in the Word (Romans 3:23). Why is that? Because we are only human. We are flawed. Perfection is and only ever was God and His Son Jesus. If we continually try to view Christians – and by extension God – through the lenses of humanity, they will always fall short. That being said, the Body of Christ is there to support us and uplift us – to hold us up in prayer, to fellowship with us, to love us and to encircle us with support. We can choose to say that it is insincere, or we can choose to look at the Body of Christ the way God views the Body: an extension of himself here on earth, even though sometimes it falls short.

The thing is though is that that is what the Body of Christ is supposed to help each other against: falling short. Try and go it alone, see how long you can make it. Just ask Judas how well he did – you’ll find him hanging in a field, gutted literally and figuratively. Then go ask Thomas – you know, doubting Thomas, who even though he had not seen for himself that Christ had risen, he continued to fellowship with the disciples so that when Christ appeared he had been supported and was in a better position to believe.

You know we can pray all we like, and then isolate ourselves in a room because we are too ashamed to share our thoughts or our needs with others who have been through battles… or we can cry out to God and then open our hearts up to His people – those He has placed in trusted positions in our lives – and allow them to minister to us. (1 Corinthians 12:12-27). We are all part of the Body – and one part can’t survive without the other parts.

I would not be getting through this time without the Body of Christ – and every person who is praying is one more person that I am coming into relationship with. And one more person in whom I see another example of the goodness and realism of the Lord our God. God says we are all made in His image… and the Body of Christ is a pretty great reflection when it is working in support of you and His glory!

3) God sometimes asks you to do unexpected things: Three things stick out to me right now that are not entirely bizarre, but certainly something that I will always remember.

One cold morning, while praying, I felt the need to cover myself with a blanket. In part because I was cold, but more because I did not feel like I could approach the Throne of God sitting on the corner of my couch. Down on my knees I went, cloaking myself in an old afghan I had received from my grandparents. Instantly the image I had was of a man – I think it was David – covered in an animal skin in a desert. That’s how I pray now… under a prayer shawl that is in actuality an old afghan. I can’t tell you why, except that if I wasn’t covered I would feel as though I would be doing something contrary to God. I can say though that there is something profoundly comforting in that manner of prayer. And it reminds me of this Psalm 51:1 which says “Have mercy on me, O God, have mercy on me, for in you my soul takes refuge. I will take refuge in the shadow of your wings until the disaster has passed”. It’s comfortable under those wings. Trust me. Warm too!

In the first few weeks of this battle, I have been convicted to wash my hands before I touch the Word of God. Whenever I felt the need to pray, I knew I had to wash my hands. Now, I’m a fairly clean chap… outwardly. But as Isaiah 1:15-16 tells us there may be a good reason for that: “When you spread out your hands in prayer, I will hide my eyes from you; even if you offer many prayers, I will not listen. Your hands are full of blood; wash and make yourselves clean. Take your evil deeds out of my sight! Stop doing wrong!” or as Job 17:9 affirms: “Nevertheless, the righteous will hold to their ways, and those with clean hands will grow stronger”. How could I handle the Word of God with hands that are dirty? Or put more bluntly, I must allow myself to be clean before I approach the Throne of God… and that comes from true repentance.

Building a prayer room – I’m not sure why that has come to me. But my wife and I are building a new house and we feel lead to build a prayer room. I have felt that God wants us to have a room for HIM in our new home. And it will be done. Jesus himself went to places to pray (Luke 5:16) and while the prayer room we are making in our home will not be a lonely place, it will be a place where we can shut out the world and commune with God. Something we all should be doing from time to time.

4) There is power – comforting power – in prayer: This is something that must seem so obvious – it’s comforting to pray. But, it is! I can not tell you how many times I have crawled underneath my prayer blanket in the last few weeks, filled with dread, fear and shame, and emerged sometime later feeling better, stronger and like I could go on. It doesn’t mean that I wasn’t conscious afterwards about what I was going through, but at least the weight felt like it had been lifted for a time. Colossians 4:2 tells us to “Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful”. How often do we do this? More specifically, how often during the good times do we do this? I can speak as one that has rarely lifted up thanks and praise to God during times when things are going well. Afterall, when things are going well, we just turn inward to ourselves. That’s wrong and puts us at a disadvantage spiritually when we are weak.

We know we must pray but we seldom do it as much as we should. I’ve said the same excuses… I can’t get into it… I get distracted… I don’t know what to say… blah, blah, blah… the reality is that there is ALWAYS someone or something to pray for; you are NOT strong and perfect in Christ if you are not praying, it’s that simple. If you feel you have nothing to pray about, then open your door and look up – if the sight of a bird flying or the intricacy of a snowflake is not enough to make you praise the Lord, then I do not know what is. Give thanks for everything. Pursue God, in prayer, and He will stand with open arms and hold tight to you when you need Him most.

Don’t just take it from me… take it from scripture:

Philippians 4:6: “Do not be anxious about ANYTHING but in EVERYTHING through prayer and petition with THANKSGIVING, present your requests to God”

That doesn’t say, forget me in the good times and give me a shout when things get rough. It says: Pray always.

2 Thessalonians 5:16-18: “Be joyful always, pray continually, give thanks in ALL circumstances for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus”.

Pretty straight forward, I think.

5) God doesn’t speak the way you think He will or should: How often have we got into prayer or just said: “God, I need to hear you… please let me hear you?!”. And then promptly gave up talking to Him because you didn’t think He was listening. Guilty as charged – because I know I have done that… I still do that because I am so limited in my scope in terms of how God is speaking to me.

Over the last three weeks though I HAVE heard Him speak to me – not audibly every time but certainly there have been clear incidence of Him speaking:

a. Hymns and songs in my head – endlessly, while I am in prayer. Speaking and encouraging me through certain lyrics of songs… songs that I had long forgotten just popping into my head or that I would start singing out loud in praise. That isn’t just happening because I love music, my friends. That’s happening because – I think – God is letting me into just a small small sample of what the rejoicing must be like around His Throne. How does the song go again? “He works in ways we can not see, He will make a way for me…” Even if that way is a song. Sing it. Listen to what it is saying. You may be surprised.

b. Visions and pictures: From the picture of David in a desert with animal skin over his body, to a picture of being led through a dark forest with a man holding my hand, to a picture of Daniel in the fire, to one of angels standing around my bed, God has give me fleeting glimpses at what He is not only doing in my life, but also what He is bringing us through. Those visions are gifts and they are meant to warm my heart and to make us stand at attention. They are a visual way for God to say: Fear not, I am with you.

c. Scripture jumping out at me or becoming powerfully more relevant. I can testify that the Psalms have never seemed more pertinent to my life than right now. They have been my comfort and have formed the basis for many prayers during this time of struggle. But other parts of the Bible have come alive as well – parts that I would never have considered relevant, probably because I had never bothered to explore the Word before now. The Bible though, as I was reminded last night in life group, is the LIVING Word of God. It is active. It is ongoing. It is endless. It is pure. Meditate on it. Day and night. (Joshua 1:8). It is the one sure thing in a world and a lifetime of struggle and upheaval.

d. Prophetic Word – It comes when you least expect it. But when given to you, take it back to God, see that it is true, then praise His mighty name for that blessing. During this time, I received a prophectic word. To be blunt, I was happily shocked – because I had never had one before. And I was elated. It not only affirmed things I had prayed for quietly and things I had heard in my soul, but it was the encouragement I needed right at that moment and remains so throughout this time. When I first got it, I kept saying: Can you believe it? God just EMAILED me! And he had… and I’m sure glad He did.

6) It is a joy to struggle for God: Yes, this one is a bit hard to believe – trust me, I have said on more than one occasion (and will likely say it again) that it sucks to be in this. But for every time I say it sucks, I am also acutely aware of how much deeper my relationship with God is growing in this time. Not only that, but as strange as it may sound, every struggle is a chance to not only be blessed but to bless the Lord.

Philippians 1:29 reminds us that “…For it has been granted to you on behalf of Christ not only to believe on him, but also to suffer for him”.

That’s pretty powerful. We not only have the privilege of believing in Christ and the salvation that comes with it, but as we struggle Christ is GLORIFIED! How? Because every victory is won NOT BY US, but BY HIM. With our mouths, we will praise Him and as He delivers us He sets us up to ensure others here how He has delivered us. We are His ongoing examples. Examples that are used as proof of His strength and the greatness of His Kingdom.

We are not struggling in vain – we are struggling towards a purpose. A deeper relationship with Christ and to be a more perfect, comforting, witness when the time comes when we are released from our struggles and are called upon to help others through a time of difficulty.

2 Corinthians 1:4-6: “He comforts us every time we have trouble, so when others have trouble, we can comfort them with the same comfort God gives us. We share in the many sufferings of Christ. In the same way, much comfort comes to us through Christ. If we have troubles, it is for your comfort and salvation, and if we have comfort, you also have comfort. This helps you to accept patiently the same sufferings we have”

It might seem you are suffering for no reason – but you aren’t. You suffer to become more perfect in Christ and so you can learn to cling to Him, receive His comfort and offer it to others in their times of need.

It is sustaining. Hard, yes… but also sustaining.

7) When you struggle, pray for others – not just yourself: It is comforting to just pray for ourselves in a time of battle. It is also just so much easier as we are so conscious of OUR needs. But you know what also works, as my Mom reminded me? Praying for other people. Your struggles are just that: your struggles. And you should pray that God delivers you through them (which He will!). But as a follower of Christ, do not under any circumstances forget to hold up the very people in the Body of Christ who are undergoing things as well – at the very least pray blessings on them. Just remember to pray. It is not only what we must be doing but can you imagine how much is hocks the enemy off if, while we are under attack, we are down on our knees praying for someone else?

Philemon 1:6 reminds us of the need to share our faith with others: “I pray that you may be active in sharing your faith, so that you will have a full understanding of every good thing we have in Christ”. Nowhere in that verse does it suggest putting our sharing of our faith on hold while we are struggling. To do that would be contrary to what God wants us to do – be ACTIVE in sharing our faith. Turtle up and inwards if you would like but by doing so you cede the ground Christ has claimed in victory for you – the ground that says the BATTLE IS WON, go out there and fight for HIS Kingdom! So, share that faith – lift others up in prayer, offer encouragement and insight when God gives it – be open to being used by HIM during your struggles to the glory of His Kingdom!

Ephesians 6:18 is pretty clear on the need to keep praying for others in the midst of every battle (including your own): “And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints”. That doesn’t say… pray when you feel like praying for others. It says “always”. It’s not a request. It’s a command.

So if someone comes up to you on a Sunday and asks for your prayers, don’t fob them off with a “I’ll pray for you” and then forget to do so. Take them aside, then and there, and pray. And then keep praying until they ask you to stop.

8) Fear and shame are not of the Lord: Let me be very clear about this: whenever you are gripped by fear, turn around, point your finger at the enemy and fire off this verse in his direction “God did NOT give you (me) a spirit of fear, but one of POWER, LOVE and a SOUND MIND!” (2 Timothy 1:7).

A battle is fearful – and yes, sometimes the weariness and the intensity of it can make us shake with worry and anxiety. But remember: God is with you. Period. I have found myself so wrought with fear and anxiety during this time that sometimes my limbs have been in pain, my chest has felt like there was a giant weight on it, and my stomach has been seized with butterflies. (I said to some people that I have never been so regular in my life!). However, that is NOT of God. God does not make us physically sick to the point of shaking in a bed. That is the enemy trying to make us cower. And we sometimes give in, don’t we? We sometimes just lay there and forget the POWER WE HAVE BEEN GIVEN BY GOD! Seize that power – seize that courage! God and His Son Jesus would NEVER be cowed by the enemy. Christ walked for 40 days and 40 nights in a desert and was tempted every day – was he weary. I bet He was! Was it tough? To borrow a phrase from Sarah Palin: You betcha! Did He prevail? YES! How did He do it though? He confronted the enemy with the thing he hates most: the truth. He slapped him around with Scripture, he prayed, he LOVED the Lord! Fear was not something Jesus gave into – He gave into the power and strength that He already knew He had in His Heavenly Father!

Remember this: “…You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the One (God) who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world” (1 John 4:4).

Last time I checked God was not fearful – and as His children we need to remember to seize that courage and power that He has already poured out on us.

9) Romans 8:28: “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him and have been called according to his purpose” – That is a topic in and of itself. The verse, however, is clear. God is working – in all things – to better us. Nothing we are going through, no amount of sifting, no amount of pain, is anything over and above that which He has planned for us. And if we do it right, if we lean on Him, we will emerge victorious. Try, even in the most difficult times, to stay focused on that powerful truth: that God knows how good it will turn out. That the battle is won. That your victory lies in Him!

The old saying “everything happens for a reason” is right – but God’s reasoning sometimes is beyond our comprehension. That’s alright though – it just means we have to lean on Him a little harder.

10) Our time frames are not God’s time frames: I have leaned on the scripture “Ask and you will receive and your joy will be complete” (John 16:24) as a crutch of sorts – I thought when this all began that I just had to ask God to release me from struggle and – POOF – he would. Guess what? He hasn’t. He will, I know that. But He has not chosen to let it end yet! Why is that, you ask? It could do with his timeframe versus my own… 2 Peter 3:8 reminds us that “With the Lord, a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years is like a day…” so to Him, my three weeks of battle are pretty much moot. He is watching me. He is guarding me. His angels have charge over me. He is my enduring strength and I am in Him and He is in me. He’ll let it end when HE is confident of my virtue and sincerity, and not before. Great warriors for God are built in struggle – even if that struggle sometimes takes much longer than we wish it would. The time frame is of His choosing and as I lean on Him, the more ground we will cover in this journey together – however long it takes.

So those are my ten things I have learned these past 3 weeks – I am not sure how much longer this battle is going to continue. But I do know one thing: my strength is in Christ. And every single day, I get closer to the moment where He will release me from this… or as I said yesterday, the day the bell will ring and I will stand in the ring with God holding my hands over my head in victory.

Wrestling with God

Wrestling with God is a concept that I have never been familiar with. The idea of getting tossed around by the God who created the heavens and the earth – in fact, all creation – is just a little bit above my strength scale. I have visions of getting thrown around like a 90 pound weakling up against André the Giant. But wrestling with God serves a higher purpose: it deepens our faith and brings us into a more intimate understanding of our God by forcing us to prove our virtue and strength to the King of Kings.

In Genesis 32:22-32 we read the story about how Jacob – Isaac’s son – wrestles with God, which ultimately leads Jacob into receiving the new name of Israel because he had wrestled God and people and won (Genesis 32:28). But what does it mean? More to the point, what does Jacob struggling in the night with God mean to the current situation I am facing in my own life.

To put Jacob’s situation in a brief context: here was a man whose name (Jacob) literally meant “heel”. Not exactly a resounding character endorsement. He stole his brother Esau’s birthright by tricking a blind Isaac into giving him the blessing intended for his older brother, much to Esau’s chagrin (Genesis 27:1-46). This left Esau in a rage, Jacob scared – yet blessed – and in a perpetual state of fear. Not a good scene.

Before Jacob goes to meet Esau again, years later, he worries that Esau will take revenge on him for what he had done in his youth. He worries and is gripped by fear so much that he goes so far as to split up his family and possessions into two different groups, hiding them, in the hopes that they would survive Esau’s anger.

After hiding his family, he wrestles with God throughout an entire night – and at dawn, after receiving the anointment of the Lord – he encounters Esau and is overjoyed to find that his brother embraces him, loves him… forgives him. Indeed, God tells Jacob after their night-long wrestling match that his new name, Israel, is because: “ … you have wrestled with God and with people, and you have won". (Genesis 32:28). Jacob’s fear vanishes, he is renewed, he is blessed and he is renamed. It’s as though God takes him through his fear and his years of worry and unforgiveness at having stolen his brother’s birthright, and makes it right as God sees the virtue and sincerity in Jacob’s soul. But it was this virtue and sincerity that Jacob had to struggle to prove – how else could one ever expect to be renamed and blessed by God if they come to him insincerely?

I would never have presumed that what I am facing right now would constitute wrestling with God. As I have told people, I believe I am in a spiritual battle with the enemy and that through God’s strength I will emerge victorious. I just didn’t see the correlation with wrestling with God during this process either -- then my Mom felt lead to give me this story during her own devotions the night before last.

I think the struggle I am going through – and indeed the fear that comes and goes, gripping me, then releasing me – is part of wrestling with God. God is allowing this fight to come on and for me to tangle with Him. While I beg that this fight end so that I can have HIS blessing on my life, He is not ready yet to end the bout and won’t be until I get up off the mat and prove my worth. He wants me to push back, dig deep into Him, so that He can bless and release me, and anoint me the way He anointed Jacob.

Every wrestling match is different. The competitors are different, their strengths and techniques are varied, and the location is changed. My own personal battle is one of the enemy standing on the sidelines cheering for me to give in because I am too weak and it would just be easier to quit. My wrestling partner – God – is less concerned about winning then he is that I find in HIM the strength and faith that is there and that I rise up and seize it so that I can be anointed the way HE wants me to be anointed.

God is allowing me to be sifted, no question about that. And no matter how much I seem to beg that he removes this from me, God is still calling on me to wrestle with Him. Wrestle through the fear. Wrestle through the attack. Wrestle through the anxiety. Wrestle through the pride and the shame. Wrestle and learn the strength that comes from God. Some days I think I may be doing a bit better in the match, and others – like today – I feel a bit weaker and God is pushing me to find my strength in Him and to prove my virtue.

I wish that God would tell me how many seconds are left until the bell rings but then the question is, would I wrestle with God with the same intensity I am doing right now? Would I be down on my knees, cloaked in a prayer shawl, praying every day? Digging deep into His word? Leaning on Him through the difficult moments and praising Him in the good ones? Probably not… and that is why the match continues.

While I wish it would end in MY time frame (because wrestling is tough), wishing doesn’t win wrestling matches.

Faith does. Strength in God does. Perseverance does. Digging deeper into the Word does. But wishing is just that: hope in nothing.

My hope and source of strength is Christ the Lord – perhaps its time I tried to get off the mat and show the endurance that God knows is in me. Afterall, HE put it there.

Then, at the end of the match, I can hear him say: Well done, my good and faithful servant.

The battle is tough, folks, but the end result: greater strength in HIM, no fear, and a heart, mind and soul that seeks what is RIGHT and PURE are infinitely worth it.

Unity

Yesterday while I was praying I felt the need to pray for the unity of the church. Not the unity of my specific -- or home -- church, but rather the unity of the entire church as a body of believers here in the nation's capital.

As I was kneeling in prayer I just heard the words: Pray for the unity of the church.

Now, this kind of baffled me -- I don't know that I have any special insight into what congregations across our city are doing, nor do I have any prior ministry or work done interfacing with other churches. So the thought that came to me struck me as odd. Then as I continued to pray about my own needs I just felt that I needed to pray for the unity of the church in Ottawa. So, I did. Nothing earth-shattering there, nothing happened persay -- no bells started tolling, there were no news reports after about mass closings of various denominations of Christian churches and a subsequent announcement that the church was going to unite in Ottawa. No, it was just a prayer I felt moved to pray.

As Christians we need to do a better job of coming together in HIS name. We are too quick to label each other as Catholic, Anglican, Non-Denominational, Presbyterian, Pentecostal... the list goes on... and so do the judgments we attach with it. How can we expect the non-believers in our midst to want to follow Christ if those who do follow Christ are all too often caught up in trying to rigidly define who we are in Christ by what our DENOMINATIONS believe? Why can we not define ourselves by what CHRIST calls us to be? Forget the labels. Forget the dismissive way we box some in because of the church building they call home. Let's start to examine how Christ calls us to HIM and go from there!

The Bible tells us that we are not defined by denomination but rather by the unity of the body of Christ -- that is, those who have accepted Christ as their Saviour and are in relationship with Him (2 Corinthians 12:12-31):

"A person's body is one thing, but it has many parts. Though there are many parts to a body, all those parts make only one body. Christ is like that also. Some of us are Jews, and some are Greeks. Some of us are slaves, and some are free. But we were all baptized into one body through one Spirit. And we were all made to share in the one Spirit. The human body has many parts. The foot might say, "Because I am not a hand, I am not part of the body." But saying this would not stop the foot from being a part of the body. The ear might say, "Because I am not an eye, I am not part of the body." But saying this would not stop the ear from being a part of the body. If the whole body were an eye, it would not be able to hear. If the whole body were an ear, it would not be able to smell. If each part of the body were the same part, there would be no body. But truly God put all the parts, each one of them, in the body as he wanted them. So then there are many parts, but only one body".

I love that line: "... there are many parts, but only one body". To me that's a great message: whether you take communion in a Catholic church, or raise your hands in a Pentecostal one, or read from the Anglican Liturgical book, we are all one body. And no, it is not - I think - just enough to say "I go to church" or "I believe in God" and leave it at that. The body of Christ is about relationship, not about denomination as we know it. But we get caught up in labels and forget the unity that comes from the Body of Christ.

I need my born-again Catholic brothers and sisters, as much as I need my non-denominational born-again believers, as much as I need my Anglican ones. Unity of the body. It's what God wants but what we as simple men and women forget.

Two weeks ago, I was driving to Toronto with a friend of my wife's who said that she was concerned about the fact that there is just so much "segregation" in Christianity -- or "religion" as she put it. She said she felt that there was just division, disunity and fighting within the body because we are too apt to define what Church A believes versus what Church B doesn't. I agreed with her: how we measure ourselves is not how God measures us.

We are not going to a Catholic heaven, or a Protestant heaven or a Pentecostal heaven. We are going to HIS Kingdom -- and there are no labels there. Sadly, people like my wife's friend I think are all too common: they view Christianity through the lenses of the followers here on earth. And why not? Afterall, we are ambassadors for Christ. But don't we then have a bigger purpose here -- to hold true to what unites us (John 3:16), and work towards feeding His lambs?

We need to stop the divisions because they are not of Christ. God may call us to certain congregations and denominations, but His greater calling his to reap and sow souls for His Kingdom. That is what we have to hold on to.

Let's go forward today holding fast to the unity that Christ called us to in John 17:20-23:

"My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one: I in them and you in me. May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me"

That prayer was relevant then and remains true today -- let's live out the prayer that reached God's ears. We can't expect to reap what we sow if what we are sowing and reaping is finger pointing and division. Nobody wants to join that Kingdom -- but the TRUE Kingdom of God which is made up of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control... underpinned by the selfless sacrifice of Christ? Now that's a more welcoming reality!

Unity in the body. It's not just the right thing to do -- it's God's command for us all.

Crushing Fear

Last night I had an amazing Lifegroup -- a group of married couples, we get together once a week to go over the sermon from Sunday and see how it applies directly to our lives. It's a time of fellowship, renewal, friendship and digging deep into the Word of God.

And yesterday, it was incredible.

The topic of Sunday's sermon was fear -- specifically, the spirit of fear and how it can grip our lives, controlling us and making us afraid to go about our daily lives. We were asked to share with the group what has been a fear for us and how God has delivered us from that fear.

We all started to share and then the Holy Spirit moved in a major way and a few of us started to share something that seems to be happening in our lives right now: a fear that the enemy is attacking the sanctity of our marriages. One couple is struggling and was in tears. I was in tears relaying to the group how I am being attacked by the enemy, bringing horrific pictures into my head about my life and marriage and trying to sow seeds of destruction and disunity.

Prior to coming to the group, I had spoken with my Mom -- named Deborah, by God, like the strong prophetess in Judges 4 and 5 who led the nation of Israel when others were too afraid to do so -- and I relayed to her my shame of what had been coming into my mind lately. And she provided me not only with comfort, prayer and unconditional love, but a verse that I had not even known about and that I shared later that night with the other couple who was struggling as well in their marriage (Ephesians 5:13-14):

But everything exposed by the light becomes visible, for it is light that makes everything visible. This is why it is said:

"Wake up, O sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you."

Isn't that the truth -- shine the light of Christ on your fear, on the shame that the enemy is attacking you with, and bring it TO LIGHT. As my Mom said: you saying something to me is the first step of deliverance. You see, the enemy makes us feel that by dumping these lies into our head that WE are the ones who are wrong, that we must hide behind a cloak of shame and hide ourselves from others -- to isolate it, lest we reap the judgment of other people. But God, in His wisdom, says the opposite -- he says that we must come out into the open, confess ourselves before others and allow the goodness, the love and the cleansing power of Christ to descend on us.

Let me tell you, I can appreciate fear. I fear every day during this time. But I also know the truth that 2 Timothy 1:7 tells me: that God did NOT give me a spirit of fear, but one of power and love and a sound mind. Moreover, HE gave me an entire, trusted, body of believers that I can go to with crap the enemy is trying to dump on me, without fear of judgment, and confess it before them. Proverbs 27:17 says: "As iron sharpens iron, so do two people improve each other".

It's to the enemy's benefit to get us so scared to say anything, so coiled up in fear that we avoid contact with the body -- but we need to get strong in God, to pursue the Lord and His strength, and open our mouths and hearts to others so that they know through God how to intervene on our behalf.

So it was last night an evening of doing just that -- an evening of tears, of sharing our fear, of realizing that when you are surrounded by the body and love of Christ, there is no fear, only light.

One of my friends -- he happens to be my prayer and accountability partner -- laid on us a pile of excellent verses to use during this spiritual battle that my wife and I are in, and that this other couple in our life group is in -- these verses are powerful, and are testament to the might and power of God:

Luke 10:19-20: "I have given you authority to trample on snakes and scorpions and to overcome all the power of the enemy; nothing will harm you. However, do not rejoice that the spirits submit to you, but rejoice that your names are written in heaven."

2 Corinthians 10:3-5: "For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ"

Romans 12:2: "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will"

Matthew 16:19: "I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven; whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven."
Philippians 4:8: "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things".

1 John 4:4: " My dear children, you belong to God and have defeated them; because God's Spirit, who is in you, is greater than the devil, who is in the world"

Ephesians 6:10-18 (The Armour of God): "Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his great power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can fight against the devil's evil tricks. Our fight is not against people on earth but against the rulers and authorities and the powers of this world's darkness, against the spiritual powers of evil in the heavenly world. That is why you need to put on God's full armor. Then on the day of evil you will be able to stand strong. And when you have finished the whole fight, you will still be standing. So stand strong, with the belt of truth tied around your waist and the protection of right living on your chest. On your feet wear the Good News of peace to help you stand strong. And also use the shield of faith with which you can stop all the burning arrows of the Evil One. Accept God's salvation as your helmet, and take the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. Pray in the Spirit at all times with all kinds of prayers, asking for everything you need. To do this you must always be ready and never give up. Always pray for all God's people"

Isaiah 41:10: "So don't worry, because I am with you. Don't be afraid, because I am your God. I will make you strong and will help you; I will support you with my right hand that saves you".

Friends, if you take nothing else from this post, take this: do not allow yourselves to be cowed by the enemy. You are HEIRS TO THE KING OF KINGS AND LORD OF LORDS -- and as a wiser man than I once said, as heirs to the King, we do NOT need to take the garbage the enemy flings our way. Do not rot away in fear. Do not isolate yourself from the body of Christ. There is no shame in opening up and sharing with trusted believers. There is absolutely no shame in getting down on your knees and crying out to your God. Read those verses, make those a prayer, and pray. Hard. Pray long. Pray short. Just pray. Pray for the strength of God. Pray for the protection of His hand and the guarding of His angels. Pray that He will renew you and redeem you. Pray that He will crush the spirit of fear and the attacks of the enemy. And you know what? He will. It may not be in our time frame -- it may not be right that moment, but He will grant you the strength to persevere in His name.

This is a battle and our reliance is on God -- and when we keep our eyes fixed on Him, then our path becomes clear. It doesn't mean it isn't hard. It doesn't mean it isn't painful. But we know that He will protect us under the shadow of His wings and deliver us during this time.

That's what Father's do -- they love us, in spite of our fears, and they help us go on.

Walk in confidence today -- God and His angels are walking with us.

Struggling for God

"So give yourselves completely to God. Stand against the devil, and the devil will run from you.8 Come near to God, and God will come near to you. You sinners, clean sin out of your lives. You who are trying to follow God and the world at the same time, make your thinking pure". (James 4:7-8)

I struggle. Every day.

I am in a struggle right now, a wrestling match if you will with the enemy.

And it is tough.

Tougher than I ever thought it would be.

What I want -- what I need -- to know is how it looks when we submit ourselves to God... when we seek God with all our heart, our soul and our mind. It's not enough, as Christians, to just pray. We have to be obedient to these others things as well.

I know God's strength is boundless, and I am grateful for it. But why does the struggling hurt so bad?

In 2 Corinthians, I believe, we hear about how Paul was blessed by God with a thorn in his side... a thorn that forced him to rely on Him. Is it selfish not to want that thorn? To want complete release? Or, if I seek complete release, do I then fall back into not relying on God as I should?

My prayer is this: that my God would strengthen me, that He would strengthen my wife and marriage. That He would - through his great power and protection -- get us through this season we are going through, that He would cloak us in his glory and his righteousness, and surround us with His protection, love and grace. Like David, surveying the battlefield, I know that we have already won the victory. It's the continual battle that is wearying.

But, we praise God for every struggle for in Him, we find our rest and our renewal.

What's your January 2?

On January 3, 2009, my life changed. Profoundly.

Up until then I had been content to go it alone, to do things the way I wanted to do them, to disregard God and others, and to push forward.

Then God said: time's up. Time's up on the way you have lived your life up until now. Time is up on the way of the world. Of flirting with the things that are temporal. Time is up on you not relying on Me.

Let me give you a bit of background -- I became a Christian when I was eight years old, at a summer camp, during a fireside prayer call. I asked Christ into my heart, though I don't know that I fully understood what that meant, He became my Lord and Saviour.

I was pretty excited in those early days but, overtime, allowed myself to drift away. As I grew up, I hung on to hurts and bitternesses, labelled the entire church community as hypocritical, and viewed God through a limited lenses... a limited lenses, for a boundless God. Pretty bad.

As I grew from my teens into my twenties, I would make soft sounds about being a Christian... before I'd drink, smoke, screw around or do my own thing. If living our faith is a testament to Christ's work in us, I was doing a very dismal job, and proved to be a very bad witness.

Then, 2 years ago, I met my wife. She was kind, she was compassionate, she was beautiful. She was everything I could have ever wanted in a woman. In fact, she was who I had always dreamed of -- and God delivered her to me. Nobody else could have known just how perfect she was for me. But God did. And he brought her, like an angel, to my side.

I went back to church, I started to explore my faith again. But, I still lacked... something... I can't say what it was, exactly, but I knew deep down in my heart of hearts that I was not allowing God to work in me the way HE desired. That's the thing about us humans, we tend to dig in our heels and to taunt God with our continued unwillingness to submit.

Then came January 3 -- it wasn't a car accident or a tragedy as we would define it here on earth -- but it was a sustained attack on me that could only have come from the enemy. And it continues, today, albeit it is less than it was 3 weeks ago. This is thanks to prayer, to petition, to praise and to the strength of God.

How I long, in many ways, for January 2 -- when all was peaceful and serene. When I wasn't engaged in a battle with the enemy, depending on the strength of God (James 4:7-8, Psalm 91), the body of Christ (Romans 12:5) and the Armour of God (Ephesians 6:10-18), to get me through every day. Yet, at the same time, I wouldn't trade this for anything. Over the past three weeks, I have been blessed by prophetic word, by the comfort of the Holy Spirit, by the strength of God and by a reliance on Him that is something I never would have believed possible. I am seeing God in a new light and leaning on Him -- hard -- to battle through this.

It isn't easy -- nothing worthwhile ever is. But God is my guide. He has anointed me and I will continue to fight for the glory of His Kingdom.

Are you living in January 2? Are you living a life where God is knocking on your door but you are turning up the music, ignoring him, hoping he'll go away? I was doing that too -- and then he broke the door down.

I'm glad He did.