Diagnosis

Last Wednesday I was diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, a condition that manifests itself in various ways, including through the sufferer engaging in repetitious acts or routines, as well as in -- some cases -- the person suffering from intrusive thoughts that they can not get out of their head. From what I have been reading -- and I am still in the very early days of understanding this -- people with OCD often compare what is going on in their mind to being similar to a record that hits a scratch and keeps repeating itself... over... and over... and over. The difference being is that the routines or the intrusive thoughts cause a great deal of anxiety to the individual suffering.

I was not sure if I should post this but I decided that I should post something about this because I do not want to wallow in shame about this condition. I don't think anybody, including myself, is served by hiding the fact that I suffer from this illness. And yes, it is an illness.

However, my desire to share this with all of you is based on the following 4 reasons:

1. Ephesians 5:13-14 calls on us to bring things out in the open so that the light of Christ might shine brightly on them: "But everything exposed by the light becomes visible, or it is light that makes everything visible. This is why it is said:"Wake up, O sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you." I could, because I do feel ashamed, hide that this is happening. But I choose to share this with all of you so that you know what is going on -- and so that you can stand with me in prayer. I would rather that the Light of Christ is focused brightly on this part of my life so that people know what is going on, how they can pray and support me and my family, and because we are commanded to bring it to the open by God. Hiding things is not only disobedient, but adds to the discomfort and fear I feel going through this. I am not alone. God is on my side, my family and friends are on my side, and a great body of believers is standing with me as well.
   
   
2. By sharing this suffering, I am not only being comforted but setting myself up to be able to assist others who may be going through something similar. 2 Corinthians 1:3-7: "Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows. If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort". I would rather use this situation to glorify God and His plan, as opposed to wallowing in self-pity about my lot in life. I was wallowing pretty deep this morning, feeling sorry for myself, going through an episode, asking "why me" and "where is God". But God is there and uses everything we go through -- every joy, every trial -- "... for the good of those who love the Lord". If you are suffering through this, then let's stand together. In fact, if you are suffering through anything, let's stand together in unity and understanding, knowing that God brings peace, healing and comfort to ALL who ask for it. But sometimes we need to reach out to grab hold of it.
   
   
3. It gives me a better understanding of "The Shield of Faith" -- which I will blog about later this week as part of our ongoing series on the Armor of God. What better shield to stand behind during my moments of weakness but the shield that is God -- the one that will protect me, will comfort me and will guard me against any arrows that come my way. It doesn't mean that some arrows will not be a bit bigger than others, but it does mean that when I am behind the shield, they won't hurt nearly as much as if I had no protection at all.
   
   
4. Because, ultimately, sharing what I am going through helps me not to be afraid... and writing this blog, digging into the Word helps me to ground myself in the realization that I do not stand alone. For example, had I not felt the need to blog today, I would never have found this wonderful verse from Isaiah 41:13: "For I am the LORD, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you". Fear can, and does, cripple you. If you let it. And sometimes, it seems easier to let it cripple you then to face it head on. But if a gangly kid named David can face a hulking mammoth named Goliath and swallow his fear by relying on the Great I Am, then surely I can do the same. I may not have a slingshot the way David did, but we both have the same rock: God.
   

Whether the illness or adversity you are facing is depression, cancer, diabetes, heart disease, lung ailments or even just a simple bad mood, remember you never walk alone... and what you are going through will not be anything more than you can bear, nor will God ever leave you.

This week, my friends, I ask you to remember myself and my family in prayer -- and to continue to pray that God will pour His strength, His blessings and His comfort on us. I also ask you to join me in praying for those around us who suffer -- publicly or in silence -- and who desperately need the comfort of God.

I've quoted this verse before, but I will quote it again: 2 Timothy 1:7: "For God did not give us a spirit of fear, but one of power, love and a sound mind".

We do have a choice to face our battles with fear -- an emotion not of God... or we can face it not only with our Armor, but with the power, the love and the soundness of mind that comes with it.

God walks with us -- maybe we should hold His hand a bit tighter to remind ourselves.