Low Percents are Heaven Sent

Philippians 3:20-21: "But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, 21who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body".

The other day I wrote an update to a couple people who were wondering how things were going right now in this struggle. I said to them that some days I feel 80% or 90% how I used to feel -- that is, I feel like I can function pretty well, the enemy is at bay because I am leaning heavily on God, and I go through my day doing what I am supposed to do: living for God.

It's just the other 10% to 30% that I am struggling with -- because I want to feel 100% of how I used to feel. I would love to get through a day without having to take thoughts captive, without feeling like I can't be close to my wife and other loved ones, and when I feel like I am lonely and afraid. As someone who is a feeler -- a person who regurgitates and clings onto every joy, every sadness, every single moment of life -- I find that some days that deficit percentage is what I start to focus on... I dwell in the ashes and the soot, even though the flames have subsided a bit.

Last night as my wife and I lay in bed (it was a 70% day), I said to her that some days I honestly wished that God would hurry up and rapture me out of here so that I did not have to face another day of dealing with this crap. That while I understood the need for a thorn and that I was glad for the work God was doing in me, that I wished for heaven because it would be so much EASIER and more glorious than being mired in the struggle I am in right now.

But then, I realized -- as I do whenever I think that -- that I can not use heaven as an escape hatch. Heaven is a REWARD for those who live in HIS glory, who accept the gift of HIS son, who embrace Jesus - the Prince of Peace - as their Lord and Savior. I'm sure that God would gently scold me and say: "Love my kingdom yes, but I have not put you in this battle so that you can just beg off from life by trying to hasten a day that may be soon or far away! Take refuge, my son, in ME!"

And that's the crux of it isn't it: learning how to take refuge in God even on those 10% days or those 90% days or even on those 100% days when the birds sing, the sun shines and you haven't a care in the world?

One of my favorite passages that I found over the last 6 weeks is from Psalms 17:7-9:

"Your love is wonderful. By your power you save those who trust you from their enemies. Protect me as you would protect your own eye. Hide me under the shadow of your wings. Keep me from the wicked who attack me, from my enemies who surround me".

I love that verse because when we have those low percentage days we know that God isn't far away... that we can crawl underneath His wing, where we will find warmth, comfort and a secure place to shed our tears and unload our fears. I remember a story once where it talked about a man driving in a rain storm, the wind was high and the water was pelting down as he drove - very slowly. He saw a bird at the side of the road with one of her wings expanded, and under her little wing was her baby... hiding... taking shelter... secure in the knowledge that Mom was right there in the storm, and that no harm would come his way.

How much truer is that for our Heavenly Father? And how much BIGGER are HIS wings? Big enough for your deepest fears. Your wildest anxieties. Your every hope. Your every dream. Your every challenge. Your every opportunity. Your lowest percentage. All can be guarded under His wing... if we will only take refuge.

So on those low percentage days, that is where I need to make more of an effort to find myself -- underneath the safest place of God. Right near His heart... because, when He expands that wing and you crawl under, you dwell right there -- next to His heart, where he cradles and protects you. And you feel the warmth of a heart infinitely more powerful and loving than what you know today. A heart that beats at a percentage level we can not even fathom.

It is not to say that we can't look to heaven for relief -- we can -- but we need to look to the man on the throne and His Son at His right hand... not to the mansions He has promised us! We need to guard against asking God to relieve us of our current circumstances by coming back early. That isn't only contrary to His plan for the world, but one would assume, His plan for me:

Hebrews 6:9-12: "Even though we speak like this, dear friends, we are confident of better things in your case—things that accompany salvation. God is not unjust; he will not forget your work and the love you have shown him as you have helped his people and continue to help them. We want each of you to show this same diligence to the very end, in order to make your hope sure. We do not want you to become lazy, but to imitate those who through faith and patience inherit what has been promised".

Even Abraham - after being promised a son - had to wait until he was 100 years old BEFORE that son arrived (Genesis 17:17)! How much truer than, and how much more patience, do I need to have if I am to reap the reward of heaven? Heaven is not just a merit badge given because I ask God to stop the race early! No, heaven is a badge earned through salvation, but a place of REWARD that you get AFTER YOU HAVE RUN THE FULL RACE!

And the race God has me on right now is nowhere near being done!

1 Corinthians 9:24-27: "Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize".

Hebrews 12:1: "...let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us".

Here I am, not even half way around the track -- heck, barely out of the starting gate -- and I am asking God to hurry up and wave the flag and take me up to heaven because my legs and body are getting tired?!

Good grief.

But such is the nature of those low percentage days that hope seems to be low, when I should be rejoicing in what I know to be the truth: that even on those 0% days, God has already WON 100% of the victory. And that when I have a day that is less than 100%, I can lean on God to make up the difference! Because if I am truly relying on Him for strength, and not myself, than it doesn't matter if I am at 95% or -50%... He has what it takes, under those wings, to help me rise above and soar to the highest of heights on the lowest of days!

2 Samuel 22:30-34: "With your help I can advance against a troop; with my God I can scale a wall. As for God, his way is perfect; the word of the LORD is flawless. He is a shield for all who take refuge in him. For who is God besides the LORD ? And who is the Rock except our God? It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect. He makes my feet like the feet of a deer; he enables me to stand on the heights".

Isaiah 40:31: "... but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint".

I believe that God wants us to keep our sight on Him and His Son -- and if that means trying to envision living free of problems and fears in His Kingdom, than that's fine. It is when we try and will God to do something OUR way that we fall into a dangerous pattern -- God is many things, but He isn't one to be rushed (Matthew 24:36, Romans 5:35). Unlike our earthly families, He won't just dole out a reward if we stamp our feet loud enough. Infinite comfort and direction, yes. Victory and glory in Him, absolutely. Rewarding whining and selfishness? No. Not our God. Not after the sacrifice HE made by giving us HIS Son!

We can long for heaven - but, as Scripture reminds us, NOT at the expense of doing His work:

2 Corinthians 5:1-10: "Now we know that if the earthly tent we live in is destroyed, we have a building from God, an eternal house in heaven, not built by human hands. Meanwhile we groan, longing to be clothed with our heavenly dwelling, because when we are clothed, we will not be found naked. For while we are in this tent, we groan and are burdened, because we do not wish to be unclothed but to be clothed with our heavenly dwelling, so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life. Now it is God who has made us for this very purpose and has given us the Spirit as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come. Therefore we are always confident and know that as long as we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord. We live by faith, not by sight. We are confident, I say, and would prefer to be away from the body and at home with the Lord. So we make it our goal to please him, whether we are at home in the body or away from it. For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, that each one may receive what is due him for the things done while in the body, whether good or bad".

Heaven is a wonderful place for the righteous. But we don't get heaven as a trade-off because we face difficulties in this life.

So this advice I give you as much as I give it for myself: embrace both your low and high percentage days. Don't allow yourself to be crippled by the enemy's arrows coming to land in your camp -- they won't hit you, you're under the shield of faith... God's OWN shield... HIS wing. On your lowest percentage days, envision heaven, assuredly, but don't let it keep you from doing what HE needs you to do: sowing so that HE can reap. Do the same, and moreso, on your highest of days. But seize EVERY day for what they are: days given us BY God -- days to seize His strength and to SERVE His will so that our crown of glory will shine as bright as the sun.

1 Peter 5:4: "And when the Chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the crown of glory that will never fade away".

But first we have to persevere - through every low percentage day and every high one.

The reward is a heaven where every day is 100% - and more!

Cleaning the temple

Last night as I was praying through some areas of deep-rooted sin in my life, I was struck by the idea of Jesus in the temple:

Mark 11:15-17: " On reaching Jerusalem, Jesus entered the temple area and began driving out those who were buying and selling there. He overturned the tables of the money changers and the benches of those selling doves, and would not allow anyone to carry merchandise through the temple courts. And as he taught them, he said, "Is it not written: " 'My house will be called a house of prayer for all nations'? But you have made it 'a den of robbers..."

The idea of Jesus in the temple is one I feel that the Holy Spirit has again given to me. As I have said previously, I believe part of the reason why I am going through this season is so that God can restore me to the glory He knows I can attain. But I must be cleansed -- no matter how much it may pain me.

I have allowed, over the course of many years of disobedience, my life to be dictated by the pleasures of the world and not by the will of God. That is a dangerous thing... especially because Scripture reminds us that when we ask God in to our hearts, our bodies cease to be our own:

1 Corinthians 6:19: "Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body".

My body is a living temple for Christ, and yet for a long time I flung open the doors to sin in order to make myself feel better. Doors of the world that corrupt the mind, the heart, the soul and the body.

Drinking. Sex. Trying drugs. Racy movies. Pornography. Over indulgence of food. Lack of exercise/laziness. Questionable t.v. shows. Abusing alcohol. Ignoring God. Seeking the approval of my peers versus the approval of my God. These are all areas I have struggled with -- and they are areas that open doors into our lives that the enemy seeks to - and often, successfully - exploit.

I am certain that God does not approve of how I lived my life -- afterall, what Father likes to consciously watch as their child ruins themselves and their lives just because they can.

Indeed, as Habakkuk 1:13 reminds us: "Your eyes are too pure to look on evil; you cannot tolerate wrong".

God can not tolerate wrong -- He will NOT tolerate it, nor will He even entertain it enough to look at it. It offends Him. Just as it offended Jesus to see His temple turned into a den of thievery and debauchery.

But how often are we doing the same things in our bodies... in His living temple? I dare say, more often than we would like to admit. And as Jesus came into His temple and overturned the tables and set the doves loose, driving out merchants and sinners, so too is God -- in this season -- doing that in my OWN body in some respect. He is cleansing it. He is purifying it. He is transforming my body - HIS TEMPLE - from a "den of thieves" into one that more accurately mirrors His glory.

It isn't easy. I don't think it is meant to be easy. But then, it wasn't God that put me in the situation I was in in terms of sin - I did that myself, with a little coaching from an enemy that likes to see us fail... an enemy that twists words and situations to make them seem good at the time, but which are far from good.

God has convicted me of my past. He has convicted me of areas I need to address and which I am in the process of addressing. At the same time, while I am addressing them, He has convicted me to avoid the corruption of the world. I don't say this to be holier than thou, but rather because I think that God is right to have me avoid things that are not of Him especially in a time of cleansing when He is in the process of stripping me down from the inside, making me vulnerable and more susceptible to impression and innuendo from the world. Frankly, right now I would find things of the world comforting but, as the Bible reminds us, those comforts are fleeting and ALERTNESS is what is needed -- not just during a time of trial but ALWAYS:

1 Thessalonians 5:6-9: "So then, let us not be like others, who are asleep, but let us be alert and self-controlled. For those who sleep, sleep at night, and those who get drunk, get drunk at night. But since we belong to the day, let us be self-controlled, putting on faith and love as a breastplate, and the hope of salvation as a helmet. For God did not appoint us to suffer wrath but to receive salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ"

1 Peter 5:8: "Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour".

How do we stay alert? I think it varies depending on the person, but here are a few areas that I have felt laid on my heart:

Digging - deep - into His word. (Psalm 119:9-11):

"How can a young man keep his way pure? By living according to your Word. I seek you with all my heart, do not let me stray from your commands. I have hidden your Word in my heart so that I may not sin against you".

I am digging deep and praying because that is not only where I find my comfort, but my sense of direction, strength and purpose. It took a long time for me to realize this, but when all else around you seems crazy and uncertain, having God as the unchanging touchstone, is powerfully reassuring.

Avoiding things that can lead us into temptation:

Ephesians 5:18: "Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit".

God has told me to stay away from alcohol. Not because I have ever struggled with drinking, but because I think God wants me to ensure my mind is sharp at all times to do HIS will and that I have not allowed myself to be compromised by wine. I want to be alert because I feel that when I am NOT alert, I am weak. And that doesn't serve me well, and it certainly doesn't serve God well.

I always remember years ago when I worked in retail being at a bar with colleagues from work, drinking and dancing the night away. At one point in the night I was standing against a table and for a few seconds I think God let me see the situation the way He saw it... through the smokey haze, I saw people stumbling about, dancing and acting provocatively, anger and sadness all over their faces. It was the very moment that I started to hate bars -- and since then, it has remained that way. I can't get the image out of my head of that night a long time ago - and I am grateful that God let me see, for even the briefest of moments, what He must see when we behave that way. It was troubling. And very sad.

(Please know that I am not trying to suggest everyone avoid alcohol. That is NOT my intention, nor is it my place to suggest that. I am completely fine if others want to drink -- that is their right. I am simply sharing what God has laid on MY heart. God will give to each direction as they require it).

Avoiding the corruption of the world:

2 Peter 1:3-5: "His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires".

Philippians 4:8: "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things".

Romans 12:2: "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will".

This is a tough one for me -- I love movies (except horror films) and I love TV. Absolutely and totally love it. I love reading current affairs stories. I love getting the latest scoop about what Celebrity A is doing versus what Celebrity B isn't doing. I love the idea of making money, getting rich and just living the good life.

Wrong, wrong and wrong. 

God has told me that during this season I am to turn off my TV, avoid the movies, and avoid the crap the world tells you is important. Instead, I have been opening His Word and finding something very interesting, that my desire for the things of the world is quickly falling behind a desire to do what is right and true in HIS Kingdom.  To measure myself and my actions against what His Word says is true. 

Were I to try and continue to allow God to work through me and in me during this time, while I was filling my brain with crap on the TV or movies where people are having random sex, drinking alot, doing drugs, committing crimes or engaging in violence, I would be allowing myself to be corrupted. This is not to say that God will not, at some point, allow me to go back to enjoying a good movie and getting back into my 80s TV sitcoms (Hello, Mama's Family!), it just means that right now God is causing me to think twice about putting into my head the things that are not of Him.

To put it more bluntly: if I was in the process of vacuuming a carpet, would I then pour red wine on it so that my job would be more difficult? Of course not. In the same way, I feel God is saying: "Let me clean out MY temple, let me restore it and let it be used for MY purpose".

After 30 years of living my own way, I think -- I know -- I owe Him that.

Every temple needs to be cleaned - no matter how much it hurts to have the graffiti scraped off the walls and the tables overturned.

Nobody likes to change the way they live their lives -- but when OUR way of living soils HIS temple and HIS plans, then our Father has an obligation to step in and deal with it. Consider it discipline -- discipline built in love:

Hebrews 12:10-11: "Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it".

Every day is a bit easier in this struggle -- the temple gets a bit cleaner, and I move a step forward. But I'm not there yet -- I'm not sure when this cleansing will stop - and when the enemy will stop throwing muck at me, trying to muddy God's clean floors -- but I do know when God is finished, I will sparkle with His righteousness and glory.

God's Snowplow

I have a lot of trouble driving at night. I find that my eyes don't adjust very well to the dark and that with bright headlights coming at me, I can not focus properly. Subsequently, I often prefer to drive with as much light as possible. Daytime is my preference.

Two weeks ago I was driving home with my wife from Toronto, and in between Belleville and Ottawa (a distance of about 2.5 hours) we got caught in a fairly bad snowstorm. Combined with the fact that it was dark outside, and the swirling snow, driving was perilous. A couple times I contemplated pulling over for the night to avoid the storm.

But a funny thing happened on that drive home -- on two separate and lengthy occasions, we found ourselves caught behind snowplows. Traffic became very slow as the plows in front of us rumbled down the dark highway, clearing snow out of the way and making our path clear. What would normally be a 4.5 hour drive stretched to a 7 hour drive and the snowplows bore a good part of the blame.

I will admit to being slightly irritated by the hassle at some points during the trip, but on more than one occasion I also ended my gripe against the plows by saying "But I guess in a storm, there is no safer place to be then behind the snow plow".

How true is that. In our life's storms, as I talked about yesterday, how often do we truly thank God for being the snowplow in front of us... clearing our way in spite of our haste to get ahead. Making our path straight... forcing us to follow because it is not only the right thing to do, but it will get us to our destination - HIS destination - in safety.

God IS our snowplow. He is sometimes booming and loud (Psalm 29:3, Job 40:9). He is sometimes bright and flashing like the siren atop the plow (Exodus 3). He is sometimes quiet (Psalm 83:1). But He always clears the way -- and like a snowplow, He doesn't leave when the job is half done... He stays until it's complete: Proverbs 3:5-6 says"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight". As humans we are simply not able to plow the path to righteousness and good living on our own.

We certainly aren't capable of finding the true way in our own lives -- that is where God comes in. He works - in all seasons - to clear roads, debris and hurt in our lives so that we can embrace the joy His salvation brings.

It is - and always is - God who leads our way. Sometimes we may not like the pace at which He moves, but we know that is to a greater glory:

Proverbs 4:11: "I guide you in the way of wisdom and lead you along straight paths".

In a society where everything is temporal, where quick fixes and easy answers are too often the norm, and where God is marginalized by a culture intent on "me" versus "He", there is something profoundly reassuring about being able to look ahead and see that bright light atop God's plow -- the light of the Cross of Calvary -- and know that He is ALWAYS there. That no matter how bad the storm gets, God is right there making our paths clear. And that He - unlike so many other things - is lasting. He won't run out of gas. He won't veer off the road. He won't go anywhere. Not as long as you drive that road.

Deuteronomy 31:6: "Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."

Romans 8:38: "For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord".

No matter how severe the storm, no matter how dirty and messy it looks, keep your eyes focused AHEAD. God is right there, taking on the dirt, pushing away the debris and getting you exactly to where HE wants you to be. Don't pull over. Don't try and alter your route. He is there... whether you see Him or not... and when you stay focused on Him and on the path He is making for you, you'll not only be safe, your mind will be at rest.

Remember the song - and sing it while the God clears your path:

"God will make a way, where there seems to be no way. He works in ways we cannot see, He will make a way for me. He will be my guide. Hold me closely to His side. With love and strength for each new day, He will make a way. He will make a way".

In this storm I am in, I'm glad that I am right behind the snowplow and I am content to stay behind that plow for as long as the snow swirls and the night lasts.

It's the only sure way to reach His destination.

Necessary Storm

A few weeks ago our city suffered a bad snowstorm -- the kind where the roads are coated in thick dirty snow, the snowflakes are more like giant slush balls and the wind whips around causing whiteouts and very poor visibility.

As I drove to work during this mess, I found myself staring intently at the road, driving very slowly and making sure every action that I took was carefully considered so as to avoid an accident. For the most part, I hate snowstorms. I hate the way everything grinds to a halt and how difficult it is to follow through on the plans you may have -- snowstorms make life just a bit too difficult, which is probably why they only happen sporadically during the year. Mostly during winter, or as we saw a couple years ago, sometimes in spring. Whatever the case may be, they are not a regular occurrence -- and it is probably a good thing. With a lot of snowstorms, people would be bound inside, things would freeze up and life would not be very enjoyable.

But as I turned onto the road leading to my office that snowy morning three weeks ago, the Holy Spirit gave me a thought -- "Once the snowstorm passes, and the snow melts, the earth will be renewed". Because that is ultimately what happens after a snowstorm... over time, the warming effects of the sun melt the ice and snow and wash away the dirt and debris. The moisture from the melting snow goes into lakes, rivers, fields, trees, flowers and gardens providing life-sustaining nutrients as spring dawns. Spring follows winter. Or you may say, renewal follows every storm.

The storm I am in right now is just that -- a blanket of snow that must fall before renewal comes. It's not pleasant: sometimes it is hard to see through, the snow is deep and I trudge along, but ultimately I know that the Son will melt all the ice around me and renew my soul.

Snow falls only after the clouds build up -- they fill up and up and up before there is a trigger and things start to fall.

In my own life, it was sin and a continued inability to put God and His precepts FIRST that I think lead to this snowstorm. At some point God needs to give us a wake-up call -- and though it may be loud and harsh, it is sometimes a necessary thing to get us out of our slumber.

Scripture does support snow being an example of renewal... consider this metaphor from Isaiah 1:18:

"Come now, let us reason together," says the LORD. "Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool"

Is your life scarlet right now? What areas does God need to cleanse? For me, the cleansing began afresh on January 3 as God decided that it was a good time for a snowstorm to hit my life. And blizzards are no fun: the snow blows around, your extremities freeze and you just desire to be bundled up against the harshness of the cold. But bundling ourselves up against the harshness is AGAINST the whole purpose of renewal, isn't it? God sometimes needs to take us outside of our comfort zone -- away from that cozy fireplace and thick down comforter - and toss us outside among the wind and the ice in order to set things right again. In order to make the scarlet areas glow with the whiteness - the purity - of HIS glory.

Psalm 51:10-13 is a familiar Psalm -- familiar because we have heard it sang in church, and because if you are anything like me, you have likely prayed it before... perhaps absently, but you have prayed it: "Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me. Then I will teach transgressors your ways, and sinners will turn back to you".

How can we -- how could I -- expect God to create a pure heart in me if I continued to stumble along as I had -- conscious Sunday of a great sermon, but living contrary to His Word and will every other day? Creation, renewal and restoration can ONLY happen when the ground is pure, the earth has been tilled... when the bad stuff is stripped away and we as Christians stand before our God without pride and baggage. Or to continue the nature theme, if our soil is dry to God... if it is sandy and dead of nutrients, doesn't God have an obligation to send a storm our way?!

I like the way verse 13 says "... THEN I will teach transgressors your ways, and sinners will turn back to you!". We like to brag when we live through a major storm... "I was there when the 1998 ice storm hit!" or "I managed to make it home through that massive blizzard"... but in this case, God is giving us something else to brag about: surviving a spiritual storm of renewal... and THEN we will have the ability to brag about it... and who does that bring glory to? God:

Philippians 1:29: "God gave you the honor not only of believing in Christ but also of suffering for him, both of which bring glory to Christ".

Colossians 1:29: "To do this, I work and struggle, using Christ's great strength that works so powerfully in me".

When we make it through the storms in our lives with Christ by our side, we are more likely to testify to HIS greatness. And as WE testify, Christ and God are glorified -- and made powerfully real and relevant to those who do not believe. If people see us being tested and us emerging STRONGER after those tests BECAUSE OF OUR FAITH in God through Christ, there is an opening to introduce them to God, and for Him to do a renewal in THEIR lives.

But first, we have to get through the storm... and shed the garbage of our own lives in the process.

James 3:10-12: "Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? My brothers, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water".

How true is that verse -- I was trying to live a scarlet life Monday to Saturday and a snowy white one on Sunday morning! During my week, dirt and debris came out of my mouth and on Sunday I had the gall to stand before God and sing praise -- praise, yet my life was anything but a praise to the Lord! Hence, the need for snow, the freeze and the coming springtime of renewal.

I found this verse in Isaiah 55:10-11 that I thought fit very well this idea of a new spring -- a new season in my life:

As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.

This snowstorm will pass. The pain will go away. And I will be renewed -- I will be left in a better position to "bud and flourish" as God intended. Nothing that He allows to happen to us will be bad for us... ultimately, it will ALWAYS lead to good. We know this because that is what the Word says -- Romans 8:28 reminds us that "We know that in ALL things God works for the GOOD of those who love Him". Perhaps we have forgotten that we need to actively love Him. That it isn't just some passive expression that we mutter every Sunday as we drag ourselves into a house of worship. Sunday Christianity and Weekday Worldliness are not conducive. Rather it is akin to an early frost... it coats the earth -- our hearts, our minds and our souls -- and renders us useless to what God needs us to do. Which is why He sometimes allows us to be caught in a storm -- it's not only good for us, but for Him!

For in the midst of a storm, where are our eyes turned: to God.

Think about the example of the disciples stuck in the storm while Christ slept in the bow of the boat... they were overwhelmed with fear at the storm, but Christ SLEPT soundly. How often during this time have I ran away with fear in my heart? Fear in my soul? Anxious that the storm would pass me by so that I was not overwhelmed with water (or snow)... alot... an awful lot. Yet, as I was reminded during a sermon by Max Lucado and by my pastor, storms may seem scary to us but they are a necessary step to building faith. And Christ - God's SON - is never afraid. Ever. He sleeps soundly while we run around:

Luke 8:22-25: "One day Jesus said to his disciples, "Let's go over to the other side of the lake." So they got into a boat and set out. As they sailed, he fell asleep. A squall came down on the lake, so that the boat was being swamped, and they were in great danger. The disciples went and woke him, saying, "Master, Master, we're going to drown!" He got up and rebuked the wind and the raging waters; the storm subsided, and all was calm. "Where is your faith?" he asked his disciples. In fear and amazement they asked one another, "Who is this? He commands even the winds and the water, and they obey him."

Sometimes it takes a storm for us to find our faith again -- and after we find it, God will allow things to be calmed once again. Afterall, we bud and flourish in springtime.

So does His Kingdom.

I'll get through the storm -- it is just a season, afterall. And I can always look up in the midst of the snow and squall, and I'll see the Son poking through -- even if some days the storm clouds may hide it. The Son will bring renewal and a heart that is more attune to His will for me.

I can't wait until spring.

Choose to feel

As a child, I was always extremely sensitive. I wore my heart on my sleeves. I always knew how I was feeling, why I was feeling it and I was never shy about expressing what was on my mind. At the same time though, I also had an uncanny ability to plug into what others were feeling as well. My Mom tells the story of me answering the phone in our house when I was little and handing it to her – always telling her how I thought the person on the other end was feeling… “Mommy, it’s so-and-so… and she sounds very sad”. Mom said that more often then not, I would prove to be right.

While some may chalk this up as just a little boy being able to correctly read the voice of someone on the other end of the line, I have come to think – instead – that it is a special gift from God. Oh, it’s true that I have tried to hide it from time to time under a crusty exterior, but a sad movie or event, or a moment of pure injustice is pretty much enough to reduce me to a slobbering mess on the edge of my chair. In many ways, I am still that little child -- sensitive and always conscious of my feelings and wondering how others are feeling as well.

God doesn’t give the same gifts out to everybody – he doesn’t tell everyone that they will all receive the gifts of tongues, just like he doesn’t tell everybody that they will receive a gift of discernment. All people have been given something different that they bring to the Kingdom of God, because it is in those differences that the perfection of Christ is made known.

1 Corinthians 12:28-31: “…And in the church God has appointed first of all apostles, second prophets, third teachers, then workers of miracles, also those having gifts of healing, those able to help others, those with gifts of administration, and those speaking in different kinds of tongues. Are all apostles? Are all prophets? Are all teachers? Do all work miracles? Do all have gifts of healing? Do all speak in tongues? Do all interpret? But eagerly desire the greater gifts. And now I will show you the most excellent way”.

All of us have been created and gifted differently, yet all of us have been created in the image of God. We all bear His mark, and as His children, we all exhibit bits and pieces of His personality:

Genesis 1:27: “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them”.

My ability to feel is directly given to me by God. I know that. The same compassion that healed the ruler’s daughter (Matthew 9:18), the same God that cried when Lazarus died (John 11:35), the God described by Paul as the “Father of Compassion” (2 Corinthians 1:3) has given to me a bit of himself – the ability to feel and to love to a capacity that I believe is deeper than most. Some of us are gifted in music. Others are gifted in mechanics. Some are gifted in speaking. I am fortunate to have the gift of compassion.

However, over the course of the last few weeks it is just this capacity to feel that I have been struggling with in a major way – because my capacity to feel has proven a welcome tactic for the enemy to exploit so that I feel guilty, afraid and unsure of how to move forward.

As I have said in other posts, I have been inundated with thoughts of pure garbage and evil for the last month. Praise the Lord, it is much better than it was 3.5 weeks ago, but it remains a struggle. Part of the reason why I think it remains a struggle is in part because of my ability to feel – it is both a blessing and a disadvantage at time of like this.

You see if the enemy can put the garbage he has in my head and then leave me to fester over it, his work is done. What’s more, if I can then regurgitate those thoughts over and over again in my head without any sort of prompting, then not only is he winning – but I am losing, and in the process losing sight of the very real gift God has given me: the ability to feel and the ability to use those good feelings to do the good works of His Kingdom: to help the helpless and to reach out to the broken-hearted.

During this time of struggle, I have allowed the enemy – and indeed myself – to pollute this sense of feeling with dread and guilt:

- How could I have ever thought these things?
- What kind of a person am I?
- I am a truly hateful individual!
- This garbage is going to come back into my head
- How am I going to be able to go on like this?
- I can’t focus on anything else except this one problem

Each and every one of those above statements are things I have thought – indeed, felt – these last few weeks. Yet every last one of them is poison put into my head by an enemy who loves to play on the fact that as a feeler, I am more likely than most to allow these things to spread like choke-weed through my brain, my soul, my heart. The enemy plants the seeds, then my feelings of dread and fear take over and fertilize them until my mind’s garden is a mess of overgrown emotions – and joy, praise and optimism are not among the growth.

That’s the thing about this time of trial: I have allowed not only these thoughts to consume me in worry and dread, but I have done the opposite of what Paul said in 2 Corinthians 12:10: “…That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong”.

I have not delighted once in this time – I have known it was a good thing to have been given a thorn in my side, but I have carried myself under the weight of tremendous agony when we are commanded NOT to carry struggle like this is a burden – but rather as a service and demonstration of faith to God:

James 1:2-4: “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything”.

Pure joy is not something I have willingly experienced these last few weeks – in part because this is a time of immense struggle but in part because as someone who is so conscious of just what and how I am feeling, I allow myself to be kneecapped – and I even kneecap myself – by focusing on the pain instead of putting my focus entirely on God.

Yet, one thing I know that I have not focused on as much as I should is that God is still in the midst. His light is STILL shining. It is STILL present and it has NEVER gone out. Not once during this entire time. He has talked to me. He has comforted me. He has calmed my anxiety and quelled my fears. He has strengthened me and anointed me a warrior. He has provided me with a great Body of Christ on which to lean and to reap the benefits of their – HIS – compassion. In short, the joy of the Lord could be my strength during this time… but instead I have chosen to go about with long face, dealing with difficulties as though overwhelmed by the challenge of confronting these emotions and thoughts.

But the reality is that being overwhelmed is NOT of God – God does not allow us to get overwhelmed. In every storm, He only demands that we have faith and He will quell the waters for us (Matthew 8:23-27). That alone is reason enough to rejoice. But sometimes, even during the darkest of days, we need to consciously remind ourselves to seek the light of God… because without it, we can and we will continue to sit around and mourn like those who are lost.

The enemy does not want me to realize the limitless potential of this gift of compassion. Compassion is the bane of the enemy – it is ugly to him. He views it as not only a weakness to exploit but a potential strength in his adversaries that he must destroy. It is why when you get a tinge of sadness when you see the loneliness of a homeless man or woman and think about speaking to them, the next thought that comes into mind is wondering what people might think if they saw you. It is why when we think about helping out a neighbour or friend with a project in one moment, we then in the next think to ourselves that we are just too busy with our own lives to do anything for someone else. It is why when we see a colleague at work, as I did yesterday, who has been downcast and sad for the better part of the last 10 days that we consider giving them an encouraging word, and then beg off because we aren’t sure of what to say or how to say it. Compassion. It exists. But the enemy likes to give it a good hard kick in the hopes it can be bruised and abused into submission. For those of us who have been specially gifted with compassion or feeling, we feel those bruises and he knows it – he kicks us harder, because he knows that it not only will knock the wind out of us, but we will focus on the injury – thereby making it harder to focus on anything else.

But God is the Father of Compassion. He is the Father of Joy. He is the Father of Christ. If we allow ourselves to be caught up in the whirlwind that is doubt, despair and fear than we will never move beyond the spot we are in right now. And frankly, we owe God a lot better than that – we owe Him our best. And right now, I am not giving Him my best if I am allowing myself to be cowed by the one who was thrown out of heaven. Giants, as I said a few days ago, don’t get to win. They lose because we have the biggest giant our side: Jehovah Jireh!

Last night while I was praying – and then again this morning – I declared David’s battle cry that while the enemy was trying to take away my sense of joy, my loves in life and was trying to do so with “swords, spears and javelin”, that I stood on the side of a righteous and loving God who not only has great plans for me (Jeremiah 29:11) but also because the joy of the Lord is NOT a weakness – it is a strength (Nehemiah 8:10). It is something to hold onto – the knowledge that what makes us feel, are the things to celebrate.

The enemy has no right to turn our gifts against ourselves. In fact, he has no right to do anything. He has no victory. He has nothing.

It is time to embrace the gifts that God gave us for what they truly are: blessings to take us through adversity, to enhance our joy and to guide us to glory in Him

Galatians 5:22-23 talks about the fruits of the Spirit: “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law”.

If I am concentrating on this trial and only the trial – and not the joys that this trial is supposed to bring me – then I am not exuding my gift, and I am certainly not exuding the fruits of the spirit.

I think it’s time to do a little more joy and a lot less guilt.

God doesn’t do guilt – He does joy. In abundance. If we let Him. But how often do we do that?

Friends, if you are a feeler like me, then let’s do something a bit different today – let’s allow yourselves to feel, even during adversity and trial. Let’s not allow ourselves to hide the light God has given us because we are too wrapped up in worry or focused inwards on ourselves. When we do that, nobody wins – not us, not others and certainly not God. Remember, if the enemy kicks you, he’s just trying to bruise you. But remember: while bruises can hurt, it doesn’t always mean that something is broken. It just means you can feel that a tender part of yourself is a little bit more exposed to feeling. And that’s a good thing.

In any struggle don’t lose your capacity to feel. Cry with God. Rejoice with God. Give the gift of your joy and love to others. God did NOT give you a spirit of fear – He gave you one of power, love and a sound mind (2 Timothy 1:7). Embrace that. It’s true.

Feelings last. Bruises don’t.

The Pain of a Thorn

Have you ever gotten caught in a thorn bush – the pricks and pokes of the thorns are grating, they hurt and if they dig into your skin, it can be hard to remove them. And those are just the little ones. Have you ever grabbed onto the stem of a rose with those giant thorns and have one gash into your hand? They hurt – a sharp, wincing pain that leaves your finger throbbing and you not wanting to handle the rose for the foreseeable future. Not only that, but for the next little while afterwards – depending on how deep it went – you are still nursing a sensitive finger, doing your best to baby it and get it back to health as quickly as possible.

I have a thorn right now – and it hurts. It hurts in my heart, my mind, my body and my soul. It makes me feel sad, alone, worried and anxious. It tugs at the edges of my heart – you know the place right in the middle of your chest, just under your ribcage. That’s the spot. It aches and feels empty. Except for the thorn. Thorns are no fun – they are hard to remove and sometimes no matter how hard you dig, the tweezers just won’t go deep enough for you to get it out on your own. That’s when you need a doctor or a skilled professional to remove it for you.

Last night I was reading from Cast of Characters, as I have been doing the last couple weeks, and was struck by the story of Paul. To be truthful, I have been struck by the story of Paul since my friend – Paul – spoke about him to my wife and I a couple weeks ago.

We all know Paul (a.k.a. New Testament Saul) as the pious guarder of religious wisdom, the hero of Pharisees who went about the land forcing the Jewish people into obedience of the Law of Moses, and getting them to reject the teachings of Christ or face certain death and destruction. Religion Paul may have been peddling, but grace and mercy were not part of that offer. That is, however, until he was confronted on the road to Damascus himself by Christ – who, in one fell swoop, changed the way Paul approached life and what he taught his fellow man (Acts 22:3-11):

“… Then Paul said: "I am a Jew, born in Tarsus of Cilicia, but brought up in this city. Under Gamaliel I was thoroughly trained in the law of our fathers and was just as zealous for God as any of you are today. I persecuted the followers of this Way to their death, arresting both men and women and throwing them into prison, as also the high priest and all the Council can testify. I even obtained letters from them to their brothers in Damascus, and went there to bring these people as prisoners to Jerusalem to be punished. About noon as I came near Damascus, suddenly a bright light from heaven flashed around me. I fell to the ground and heard a voice say to me, 'Saul! Saul! Why do you persecute me?' " 'Who are you, Lord?' I asked. " 'I am Jesus of Nazareth, whom you are persecuting,' he replied. My companions saw the light, but they did not understand the voice of him who was speaking to me. "'What shall I do, Lord?' I asked. "'Get up,' the Lord said, 'and go into Damascus. There you will be told all that you have been assigned to do.' My companions led me by the hand into Damascus, because the brilliance of the light had blinded me”.

Paul had been a prideful, nasty man – convinced that his way to eternal glory was through the approval of his fellow man and through the works he did on earth… holding tight to piety versus grace and mercy as given by Christ.

After his Damascus conversion, however, Paul begins a life of service to the Lord. Indeed, his service and the messages he preaches on behalf of God frame much of the New Testament (Acts, Romans, the Timothys, etc). However, the interesting thing about Paul is that he served the Lord WITH A THORN IN HIS SIDE. A painful thorn. One that was clearly grating on him, one that caused him discomfort, and one that was designed – as he indicates – to keep himself from building up the pride at which he had gone about his life before being born again (1 Corinthians 12:7-10):

“To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong”.

Paul’s thorn hurt – it hurt so much that he asked – BEGGED – God to take it away from him. And God said “No – trust me, lean on me, I will make you strong. You are weak but when you lean on me you are strong”. Was that what Paul wanted to hear? Clearly not. He asked another two times after that. I imagine that even after those three official asks he would probably wonder sometimes if maybe, just maybe, the thorn might be gone when he woke up in the morning. But it never seems to be removed. What was the thorn? That’s a good question. Some have suggested it was physical. Some have suggested it was emotional. Some have suggested it was mental. While I may not be a biblical scholar, perhaps I can offer you my opinion based on just a hunch – I think it was all three.

Paul says that his thorn in the flesh was a “… messenger of Satan, to torment me (him)” (verse 7). It would be fitting to think that that meant, literally, something was stuck in him physically, impeding his mobility or causing him pain or anguish. As someone who is battling a thorn of his own right now, I think a thorn in the flesh can be just as painful to us physically, if it is a spiritual, emotional or mental thorn. During this time of struggle, I have quite literally been shaking in my bed, doubled over in pain, my limbs burning and my chest heavy. I have felt the muscles in my shoulders be so tight that it is hard to move my neck. I have felt my neck tighten to the point that turning my head was agony. I have had head aches. I have been so rundown that my bones hurt. I have had cold sores. In short: I have hurt. I do hurt. Is there something, physically, sticking out of me? Not to the visible eye. But certainly there is a thorn in there somewhere causing stress.

Like Paul I have begged – and continue to beg – the Lord to release me from this. Some days, are amazing – I feel like my old self. Others, however – like today – I wake up sad and afraid. I am stalked by the thorn. Is that how Paul felt? I bet it is. Do I think that God will remove the thorn from me? Yes. But in His time, not mine. All I know is that no matter how much I dig at it with my own tweezers, it just won’t come out. So I am forced then to put mine down, crawl under my prayer shawl and ask the great healer to remove the thorn from me or if He won’t do it right away, then to put some salve on it so I can get through each day:

(Psalm 6:2): “Be merciful to me, LORD, for I am faint; O LORD, heal me, for my bones are in agony”.

It is hard, I think, for people to understand the pain of a thorn. We ask people to pray but in a society where we expect immediacy in everything, we forget that the timing of the Lord has no bounds. Sometimes thorns aren’t removed right away – sometimes they need to fester so that all the stuff on the inside can come up… so that when the thorn is removed, the doctor can wipe away all the pus and bacteria.

That’s what I think God is doing with me right now. I think about when my sister was little and she had a sliver in her head – right at the top. She said that it hurt but it was hard to see what exactly was causing pain… there was just a little scratch at the top of her head. All she knew was her head was sore. All we saw was that there was a scratch. It wasn’t until my Mom took her to the doctor and until the doctor poked around with a tool that he removed a piece of wood about half an inch thick from her scalp… and with it, a large amount of pus and dirt that had been begging to be released. After it was out, the pain went away – and healing began.

But it only took the skilled hands and vision of a doctor to remove it. Sometimes even Mom can’t help us – that’s where there is a need for higher assistance. In my case, that’s where there is a need for the One who saves, who refreshes, who comforts, who strengthens, who loves and who guides.

Isaiah 57:15-19: “For this is what the high and lofty One says— he who lives forever, whose name is holy: "I live in a high and holy place, but also with him who is contrite and lowly in spirit, to revive the spirit of the lowly and to revive the heart of the contrite. I will not accuse forever, nor will I always be angry, for then the spirit of man would grow faint before me—the breath of man that I have created. I was enraged by his sinful greed; I punished him, and hid my face in anger, yet he kept on in his willful ways. I have seen his ways, but I will heal him; I will guide him and restore comfort to him, creating praise on the lips of the mourners in Israel. Peace, peace, to those far and near," says the LORD. "And I will heal them."

“I. Will. Heal. Them”. It is a promise I can cling to on days like today – when I feel vulnerable, when the thorn hurts and my soul aches.

Like Paul there is always the tendency to rely on ourselves – that’s certainly what I did for the better part of the last 30 years of my life. Remember how Paul says in Philippians that if ANYBODY could look at his/her life and think that works and self-reliance alone would be their saving grace and comfort, it would be him (Paul)?:

Philippians 3:3-11: “…We do not put trust in ourselves or anything we can do, although I might be able to put trust in myself. If anyone thinks he has a reason to trust in himself, he should know that I have greater reason for trusting in myself. I was circumcised eight days after my birth. I am from the people of Israel and the tribe of Benjamin. I am a Hebrew, and my parents were Hebrews. I had a strict view of the law, which is why I became a Pharisee. I was so enthusiastic I tried to hurt the church. No one could find fault with the way I obeyed the law of Moses. Those things were important to me, but now I think they are worth nothing because of Christ. Not only those things, but I think that all things are worth nothing compared with the greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. Because of him, I have lost all those things, and now I know they are worthless trash. This allows me to have Christ and to belong to him. Now I am right with God, not because I followed the law, but because I believed in Christ. God uses my faith to make me right with him. I want to know Christ and the power that raised him from the dead. I want to share in his sufferings and become like him in his death. Then I have hope that I myself will be raised from the dead”.

Paul’s pride – as he states above – and his tendency to salute himself and his own achievements are what lead not only to direction intervention by Jesus himself, but I think the allowance of the thorn that plagued his life and ministry. The thorn that allowed him – indeed, forced him – to keep relying on the strength of God to get through the day, lest he fall back into trusting himself. I love his realization that since his conversion, since he accepted Christ and all that goes along with it (the joys and the sorrows) how much he realizes everything else is “… worthless trash” (verse 8).

Paul’s thorn was placed in him sometime after (or perhaps on) the Road to Damascus. My thorn was placed in me on January 3 in the kitchen of my apartment – like Paul I was struck – hard – and like Paul I fell to my knees in agony, in fear but most importantly IN PRAYER. I haven’t let up. Neither has the thorn. The funny thing is that the thorn, as Paul himself indicated, forces that reliance and desire to cling to the strength of the great physician.

While I was no Pharisee, I certainly was many other things:

- I was OF the world and IN the world yet, as Christians, we are called to be just the opposite (Titus 2:12, Romans 12:2).

- I tried to please man, not God (Romans 8:8), and sought out the approval of peers and those of a higher status.

- I got drunk on wine, I did things with my body I am not proud, I allowed myself to become the product of a lost world as opposed to of a known and loving God… in that way, I was like the Prodigal Son, covered in dirt, turning my back on my Father, wallowing with the pigs of self-doubt, worldly gratification, quick fixes and easy answers (Luke 15:11-32).

No wonder, then, that I have been afflicted with a thorn. If you are a Father, do you not have to allow your children to be punished from time to time, in order to set them on the right path again? If you are a child, does it not hurt when your parent has to punish you? Physically? Sometimes. Emotionally? Sometimes. How much greater then, as it tells us in Hebrews, is our Abba Father’s punishment on us when we stray? And how much better is that punishment’s purpose for the renewal and redemption of our life?

Hebrews 12:2-18: “Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. And you have forgotten that word of encouragement that addresses you as sons: "My son, do not make light of the Lord's discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son."

Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons. Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live! Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. Make level paths for your feet, so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed.

I think – I know – this thorn is discipline as well as attack. God does allow us to be sifted from time to time, but He does so under the complete understanding that He is giving us only what we can bear (1 Corinthians 10:13). The size of the thorn may hurt, it may cause anguish, it may cause anxiety and fear. But you know, the great physician is in the room, and in His time he will remove it. I have selfishly said that I do not want to be a Paul – I don’t WANT this thorn. Afterall, who wants to hurt. But then, how much greater was the hurt that happened on the Cross? How much greater is the hurt that HE experiences when we turn our back on Him? When we scoff at His sacrifices and chart our own courses!

Thorns, though painful, are sometimes necessary to bring us to a new level of understanding of what to do differently and what to avoid. They are never pleasant – whether they are a quick poke or a deeper wound – it causes us to be startled and to drop whatever we have been holding onto or come into contact with. But the thorn is worth it if it must bring the pus and garbage to the surface so that the doctor can wipe it away and let the healing begin – and so that we know we can only be healed by HIS hand – then it is worth it.

Just as an aside, I had not planned to write this today – I had started to write something else last night that I had hoped to have completed today. It is still not done. It wasn’t time for it to be posted I guess. Just like it isn’t time, yet, for me to have this thorn removed.

Today I felt that God was telling me to talk about the pain of the thorn. That’s the thing with those thorns, sometimes they demand our attention – and His attention.

No matter how painful they can be.

To those still praying, thank you and please – as I know you will – continue to do so. Please know how much it helps to talk about it -- because then our friends, our family -- the Body of Christ -- can understand what we are going through.

Remember, you and I are a blessed because of struggle… even when it hurts.

God Bless You today - may He walk with you, strengthen you and alleviate the pain of your thorns. He's doing it for me. Little by little.

The tweezers are in His Hands.

A Mid-Day Praise

We are on our way to watch the Superbowl and to cheer on the underdogs (just like David versus Goliath!) but I wanted to share with you all something that happened today.  There will be a blog entry up tomorrow that I encourage you to read - but until then I wanted to share with you something that I am praising God for.

Today at church, my friend Hope called me over and said she had read my blog and the entry where I talked about covering myself up with an old afghan that had belonged to my grandparents.  She said when she read that she felt God tell her that she had something to give me.  And today she opened her bag and pulled out a genuine prayer shawl -- a Tallit - which I can now wear to pray.  She had purchased it in Israel and it had found its way from the Holy Land to my hands.  All via Hope.

I was speechless.  Speechless because I have told my wife and I have told God just how much I have wanted this prayer shawl.  And today He delivered it through a faithful servant.

As I was going up in the elevator to our apartment I happened to glance down and see the tag which I had not noticed before... and all it said was:

"The Prayer Shawl You Prayed For... Made in Israel".

Hope is an interesting thing, isn't it?  We all need it, we all have it, and today our Hope delivered something from the One who tells us to place our hope and trust in Him.

As Micah 7:7 says:

"But as for me, I watch in hope for the LORD, I wait for God my Savior; my God will hear me".

My God did hear me.  He blessed me.  He will deliver me.  That much I know and that much I can hold tight to knowing it to be true.  He shows it to me in little and big ways every single day.

Today was one of those days.

All of us -- every last one of us -- need a little Hope (and hope) in our life.

Bless you my friend for answering God's call.