Little Gifts from a Big God

Fourteen years ago this December my Grandmother passed away -- to say that this was the worst moment in my life would be an understatement.  In fact, to this day, I continue to struggle with grief -- a grief so raw that sometimes it feels like she died only yesterday. She was 57 when God called her home and I was 17.  It was the saddest moment in my short life.

I take comfort though from knowing that she is in heaven because she called out to God in the last years of her life and He saved her.  Even though cancer wracked her earthly body, God raised her up into a new body -- one free of pain and suffering, one sanctified with His love:

John 5:24: "I tell you the truth, whoever hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life and will not be condemned; he has crossed over from death to life.

1 Corinthians 15:40, 48-49: "There are also heavenly bodies and there are earthly bodies; but the splendor of the heavenly bodies is one kind, and the splendor of the earthly bodies is another.... As was the earthly man, so are those who are of the earth; and as is the man from heaven, so also are those who are of heaven. And just as we have borne the likeness of the earthly man, so shall we[b] bear the likeness of the man from heaven".

It is an amazing feeling to know that you will get to one day walk the streets of heaven with those who have gone before you -- heaven is a place we can all look forward to going if we have accepted the free gift of salvation that comes from Jesus Christ, but there is something that makes it that much more exciting when you pause to consider the receiving line that will greet you upon your arrival (Hebrews 12:1).

So while I rejoice in the fact that she is saved, I mourn on those days when I am acutely aware that she is no longer walking on this earth.

But since she passed away in 1995, I have been blessed by God to have vivid dreams of my Grandma and I had such a dream last night.

My dream last night was about me preparing to go on a trip with my grandparents - I was the same age I am now, my grandparents were the same as ever, and I was busily packing to go away.  Funny thing, right as we were about to leave for the trip, I had to dart back up to my room and re-pack my bag -- evidently I wanted to bring the clothes I wore on my honeymoon to Costa Rica.  My grandparents sat waiting patiently in the kitchen of their house -- which looked very similar to my parents old place - but there they waited, nonetheless, for me to be ready... even though the plane was leaving shortly.  (I knew it must have been a dream given how patient my Grandfather was being... God has blessed me with Grandpa, but patience is definitely something both he and I struggle with).

A simple dream but today as I was driving home I thought to myself how faithfully God has allowed me to receive dreams of time spent with my Grandma.  As I have grown up without this very special lady, I have consistently had amazing dreams -- going to a party with her once shortly after she had passed away, walking along a lake at a family reunion in another dream, family Christmas's spent with her, talking with her... just spending time with Grandma. Sometimes those dreams end with me waking up crying, other times I wake up laughing. Always I wake up grateful to have had some time spent with my grandmother.  To hear her laugh.  To hear her voice.  To just get a hug from her.  It's a profound comfort to me and one that I can reflect on afterwards and smile about for days and weeks to come.

That's the thing about the greatness and gentleness of God -- He delights not only in bringing us comfort and joy, but in granting us the cries of our heart... even when we don't know that our hearts are crying:

Romans 8:26-27: "In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will".

I am blessed that God knows that I miss my Grandma - alot - and that, from time to time, He gives me a little dream to tide me over until I get to see her again in heaven.  We're reminded in Philippians 4:19: "... my God will supply all your needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus".  Isn't He doing just that -- meeting my need to see Grandma? Isn't it interesting how sometimes we equate "needs" with our earthly wants? The new car? That promotion we're craving? That fancy vacation? That new sweater? To God, our needs are different -- they are the faith we hold in Him.  They are the fellowship with the Body of Christ. They are the truths of His Word.  They are the direction of His Holy Spirit.  And, yes, sometimes it's a dream or two about a Grandma that I miss very dearly.

Take a moment today to consider the little gifts that God has blessed you with -- they surround you, they touch you, they are HIS provision over and above that which you already have.

Thank you God for that little gift last night.  It helps more than I could ever describe... but which You surely know!

Great and mighty are you Lord that you minister to the things in our lives that are both great and small.

Thank you for knowing my needs even when I do not.

Amen.